Thur 28th May - hot n sticky!

Well, after vowing to get up early and hit the sandy beach that failed miserably and we all end up surfacing around 10am. We tell the boys about our various escapades with the locals in the dodgy clubs from last night and set about getting ready to hit the beach. Lady V and I get our asses down there and within 15minutes it starts to rain…….argh!!!!!! We even lie there despite the rain to try and score some cloud tan….but it really isn’t working, so we have a scout about the souvenir shops and the hundreds of tattoo parlours. What a place this is!? Everyone has got a tattoo and the parlours are oh so plush inside, not seedy at all. I can’t decide what design to get –oh and apparently Dave would divorce me if I get one – bah humbug!!
It’s really hot n sticky so we decide to get changed and then get the cheap bus up to Lincoln Mall. It’s a really nice promenade part of the city, with lots of expensive shops! Unfortunately, there are a number of dull, annoying Americans who have wads of cash and are very loud in the shops – bugging my happiness! We stop in an ‘Irish’ pub for lunch….which was about as Irish as I am……sooooooo not Irish! A few shamrocks on the wall and call yourself an Irish pub!
After picking up a few bits n bobs and Vanstone manages to buy a phone charger, we head back and start to pack up again. We’re up oh so early tomoz, but I don’t care people – BARBADOS BABY!!!!!!!!

Hayley

Wed 27th May - Rubbish weather

Everyone has a decent sleep and wakes up to…..Stormy weather!!!!!! It is blimming chucking it down – I am not amused!! Aaron tells us he’s ran out of money so has to leave on the 1st June instead of with us on the 7th….can’t actually believe it’s finally happened…he looks pretty gutted but says at least he gets to see Barbados for a couple of days…poor bloke.
We waste some time doing laundry and go on the internet at the hostel. The weather is so pants, just so humid with major bouts of rain – you just can’t do anything…..however, we hit Miami beach just for a walk. Vanstone and Aaron have a dip! It’s so much warmer than Venice beach sea! Don’t ask me which sea/ocean it is – not good at that schizz!! We all head back and get changed and go out for some grub on the sea front. This place is so much more happening than Venice Beach! So many swanky restaurants and bars, with uber posh cars outside! I’ve seen Rolls, Jags all lined up on the street – this place is spilling over with money and posers…..great to watch! We have dinner in this crazy Latino place with scantily clad dancers on the bar and a live band. It’s such a good atmosphere and the mojitos are flowing!
The boys are being good and head home early so Vanstone and I hunt for a club, to make some shapes on the dance floor! However, we get told its $20 to get in?!? Er hello – it’s a Wednesday nite!! So we haggle with this bloke and get in for $2 each – yes, $2 each – read it and weep suckas!! But….. it’s…..dead!!!! think Subway Cowgate but with white walls as opposed to black walls. There aren’t many peeps in here apart from a load of drunken American kids and some big woman dancing on a block, shoving her large bottom in some bloke’s face….he’s loving it actually….I have an experience with the barman….he decides to squirt lemon ALL over me by accident – he was so worried bless him – no tip for him though!!
We have a boogie then head along the street and get stopped by a crowd of P.R peeps, that just put on loads of wristbands on you. It looks like you get in for VIP but the truth, is they don’t! You rock up to the door and they still charge you $20, cos it’s now after ‘such n such’ a time - yeah yeah – I aint paying £15 to get in a club midweek people!!!! Oh and apparently a smart black, shirt-dress n flipflops is not suitable attire – but jeans and heels is best!! PAH!! Jog on matey!
We head down to the seafront and find this nice bar and have good girlie chats over some vino. It’s about 2am and they’re closing so decide to go home, until we get stopped by some dude outside a lively bit – he says its 2 4 1 and free to get in – whoohoo we say and in we go….…..big mistake!!! Hmmm….as soon as our butts hit the chair, we get chatted up by some dodgy individuals who want to take us for a walk along the beach – er hello?!?!?! What is that?! So we leave there pretty sharpish! Such a random night and all I can think is ‘Crazy Americans!’

Hayley

Tue 26th May - Welcome To Miami!

It’s an evil 6am start today, as we’re flying to Miami. We’re all checked out and the taxi gets here at 7am. We think that’s plenty of time as it’s a domestic flight, so we’ve got just under 2hours before we take off……
Oh my god……What a complete FAFF check in was. I actually HATE American Airlines and all their unhelpful, slow as hell staff!! There’s a special bit for all AA passengers to check in with a number of self-service check in points and a number of normal check in desks. However, it seemed that nothing worked and everyone member of staff was telling us different places to check in / put our luggage!! It was a complete stress and I don’t think everyone in our group was coping well with this fiasco.
We had to run up to some random luggage dude and BEG him to take our rucksacks and then run to security. I have a sickening feeling that I’ll never see my rucksack in Miami….however, we manage to get to the departure lounge with no more dramas and can finally chill the hell out. I do a little people-watching and spy this plastic woman who clearly wants to be Pamela Anderson…..and her handbag is moving….oh look, she is taking her pet Chihuahuas to Miami with her…on a plane….in a handbag!!! I don’t think American’s get the idea that that maybe cruel?! Such a dozy mare….
The flight is about 5hours and we get sweet FA in regards to beverages and food – what?! You have to pay over the odds for it – grrr – so needless to say, we starve as Dave is being tight!!! We get to Miami and its uber humid and also looks like its been raining – nooo!!! I need sun and beach time!!!
We get a cab to our hostel and it’s a funky wee place with FREE grub – whoohoo!! They’ve booked us into our own apartment, which is a few blocks away and is really cute. We’ve got cable, 2 double beds and a single bed with a small kitchen. Aaron is on the camp bed, in the servant quarters!!! Vanstone aint feeling too good so she crashes out while the boys go out exploring and I watch the box! They bring back pizza n juice – all good!

Hayley

Mon 25th May: Mr Muscle anywhere?

It’s another beach day and we’re determined to make the most of it…..so we bake all day long…..and all get a tad red by the end of the day! Vanstone and I even attempt a dip in the sea – yikes, it’s a bit fresh though!!!
Later afternoon comes and the boys are getting bored, so we decide to have a mooch along the promenade and spy on all the freaks that are around. We pass a roller skating rink where this huge group are dancing away to Flo-Rida ‘Low’ on roller skates – amazing!!!! We encounter the famous Muscle Beach as well, where Aaron gets his non-existent guns out – haha….there are soooo many Arnie wannabes out here accompanied by their ‘plastic-fantastic’ Barbie doll girlfriends….it’s all rather weird. The apartments on the beach are soooo impressive and full of partying teenagers – damn them and their rich parents!!
After all that excitement, we head back to the hostel and get ready for our last night in Venice Beach. We head over the road for some BBQ food which was sooooooo yummy and far too much of it! Can’t even manage to waddle back to the hostel afterwards, so we end up chatting away to the wee Hispanic waiter. He is rather taken with our Vanstone and is trying to lure her to stay in the States – haha!
We head back to the hostel and everyone is playing cards in the common room area. Aaron gets sucked into the game of Blackjack by the lads – even though he has no money! We just sit and get chatting to the other randoms in the hostel. There’s 2 really sweet girls who Hayley and I get speaking to, they actually work in the hostel so they can ‘make it BIG in LA’ – oh deary me, everyone is the same here – trying to get famous – it’s mental!!

Hayley

Sun 24th May - Beach Day yay!

As our wee hostel room doesn’t have much of a window, our room is pitch black and we end up sleeping in until past midday….must’ve needed it! However, Vanstone and I are gagging on a tan so we get up quickly and slap on the lotion and away we go. It’s a tad windy on the beach which actually gets a wee bitty nippy later on, but we continue onwards trying to get the perfect tan! I spot a dolphin before we head in for the day, which was rather exciting!
It’s a bit of a mission trying to find somewhere to eat for dinner. I cannot believe that this busy hub of a place during the day is so dead after sunset! Crazy times! We walk along the promenade for a good 20minutes before finding a pub type place and end up having some decent nosh. There’s a bit of confusion at the end of the meal though, as the waitress asks Vanstone if she wants a pizza box for her leftovers and then asks if she can keep the change but Aaron doesn’t hear that bit and ends up saying ‘that’s fine’ and ends up tipping the chick $20……which was a lot of our change…..oh dear, cue an insanely angry Dave as we are watching our pennies and Aaron doesn’t got ask the waitress for the change back…..stubborn men! Raaaaaaa!!!
You can cut the atmosphere with a knife, so Dave and I decide to head back to the hostel and leave Hayley and Aaron to explore the rest of the promenade. So a very early night is had by us!

Hayley

Sat 23rd May - Off to Venice Beach!

Everyone manages to get up on time and check out of Sin City with no dramas. Luckily, we hadn’t bumped into Greasy Paul again – and hopefully never again!! We book a taxi but time is ticking away and we start to stress that it’s cutting it a little fine….luckily, the nice hostel owner lets us all hop in his 4x4 and takes us to the Greyhound station. This aint your normal bus station like back home. Oh no, you have to ‘check in’ and of course there’s a sodding queue ahead of us full of Vegas crazies….argh!!! Then of course our ticket might not be accepted, cos Dave has ripped it off thinking we didn’t need a certain part of it – RAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luckily, the driver didn’t give a rats ass and we all pile on with 1 minute before departure….and the bus is heaving, full of hungover Vegas gamblers – I mean holiday-makers!
We all survive the bus to LA and we get back to Hollywood Boulevard around 4pm. There’s an interesting sight that comes off the bus with us….a very rough looking, ginger haired lady in her early 20’s along with a rough teenager girl carrying a cute Asian baby and they’re all wearing pyjamas….seriously……hmmmm, where did they just run away from!? It’s all so weird here!!
Vanstone and I manage to find out what local buses to get to Venice Beach and it takes blimming ages but we get there without too many dramas. All the different bus rides just emphasises how HUGE from one side of LA is to the other!!
Venice Beach has a totally different vibe to it, compared to downtown LA and I luv it! It’s so BOHO baby with plenty of crazy hippes around!! Heehee!! We check into the hostel – Venice Beach Cotel – but unfortunately, they’ve been having drain problems so our room doesn’t have an ensuite….Vanstone isn’t too happy about it…..welcome to travelling! I’m so used to it now, it’s funny!
We have a mosey on down to the beach and check out the Baywatch beach huts and notice every fecker is on rollerblades or cycling – so it’s true!! Haha! We meet the Stoke lads in the hostel, who are staying just down the corridor! We have dinner on the promenade which dies a death when the sun goes down…all very weird, thought this place would be buzzing! We head for a few drinks in some swanky bar call Nikki’s and then some more in The Townhouse with the lads from Stoke.

Hayley

Fri 22nd May - sore heads anyone??

Well, everyone is hung-over to hell apart from me! I surface around 10am and decide to provide refreshments for the room by going up to the garage. That doesn’t even stir them so I just end up getting showered and heading out for a sunbathe. The boys from Stoke are feeling rough as well but they’re away to the Grand Canyon today! Good on them, but they must be over the limit!
Eventually everyone is up and ready to stagger out at 3pm! However, Aaron decides to stay in bed – ALL DAY!!! Man alive, it’s roasting as hell out here! Not good with all of our sore heads….however, we get the bus into the strip and get off at Caesar’s Palace. We decide to head into Caesar’s palace on the look out for some cheap food. It’s all so massive in here – the shopping centres / the displays of fire / fish tanks in the wall – MENTAL!!! We stop and have a huge salad at one of the many eateries in there and notice that Cher is playing here – she even has her own shop here with Barbie Cher dolls for sale!
After wading through the masses of miles of shopping centre in Caesar’s Palace, we head towards the famous Bellagio….where Oceans 11 was filmed….it’s sooooo cool seeing the Bellagio fountains in action, and just across the road is the Eiffel Tower – mini Paris! We head further down the strip and see New York, New York which has a roller coaster flying in and out of the building along with the Statue of Liberty outside it! Luxor is up next and this is where Will Smith’s video ‘Getting Jiggy with it’ was filmed – it’s like a mini Egypt with the hotel being in a pyramid! We head into Excalibur, which is all medieval style along with scantily clad women dancing on the bars….it’s 5pm!!!!!!!! Deary me…..we’re gutted that we miss the lion cubs in MGM by 10mins – argh!!
After our mammoth trek, we’re all shattered and head back to the hostel where we find Aaron STILL in bed!

Hayley

Fri 22nd May - sore heads anyone??

Well, everyone is hung-over to hell apart from me! I surface around 10am and decide to provide refreshments for the room by going up to the garage. That doesn’t even stir them so I just end up getting showered and heading out for a sunbathe. The boys from Stoke are feeling rough as well but they’re away to the Grand Canyon today! Good on them, but they must be over the limit!
Eventually everyone is up and ready to stagger out at 3pm! However, Aaron decides to stay in bed – ALL DAY!!! Man alive, it’s roasting as hell out here! Not good with all of our sore heads….however, we get the bus into the strip and get off at Caesar’s Palace. We decide to head into Caesar’s palace on the look out for some cheap food. It’s all so massive in here – the shopping centres / the displays of fire / fish tanks in the wall – MENTAL!!! We stop and have a huge salad at one of the many eateries in there and notice that Cher is playing here – she even has her own shop here with Barbie Cher dolls for sale!
After wading through the masses of miles of shopping centre in Caesar’s Palace, we head towards the famous Bellagio….where Oceans 11 was filmed….it’s sooooo cool seeing the Bellagio fountains in action, and just across the road is the Eiffel Tower – mini Paris! We head further down the strip and see New York, New York which has a roller coaster flying in and out of the building along with the Statue of Liberty outside it! Luxor is up next and this is where Will Smith’s video ‘Getting Jiggy with it’ was filmed – it’s like a mini Egypt with the hotel being in a pyramid! We head into Excalibur, which is all medieval style along with scantily clad women dancing on the bars….it’s 5pm!!!!!!!! Deary me…..we’re gutted that we miss the lion cubs in MGM by 10mins – argh!!
After our mammoth trek, we’re all shattered and head back to the hostel where we find Aaron STILL in bed!

Hayley

Thur 21st May - Vegas here we come....

So, we check out of Banana Bungalow and start our trek to the Greyhound bus station at 11am. Paul says he’ll see us in Vegas – aye right - suck a freak!! The blimming bus is over a half hour late but we have fun entertaining ourselves with getting a snap with some firemen and their truck…haha…such tourists!!
It’s a nice 7hr bus ride – sounds long, but it went really fast and the seats on the bus were designed for fat peeps, so nice and roomy!! We have a funny bus driver who was extremely professional, shouting out random instructions like an air stewardess and telling us not to take drugs and drink alcohol on his bus….teehee, so damn American. We’re about an hour away from Vegas, surrounded by cactus and nothingness and we then…..break down!!!!!! Good times!! Luckily, it doesn’t last long but we all have a chuckle thinking we’re going to end up in the desert for the night.
As we’re get closer and closer to Vegas, the craziness of the place is dawning on us. It looks like we’re driving past a toy town, seriously weird! The hotels look absolutely huge with crazy helter-skelter roller coasters dipping in and out of them….it is so insane! I even spy an Eiffel Tower and The Statue of Liberty….
We get off the bus – and my god, it’s soooooooo HOT!!! We hail a cab. It’s a funny ride to our hostel – Sin City - as the taxi man is taking the mick out of our accents and our funny sayings! We check into the hostel and it’s a nice wee community, with a free BBQ starting at 8pm. Vanstone and I miss out as we’re too busy waiting for our bathroom to open! Let me explain….we’re in a semi private room – with a room of 2 attached to us. But they have a door to the bathroom as well, so you kind of dunno if peeps are in there or not. It turns out they had locked the bathroom on our side and we were waiting for 45mins to get in there! RAAAA!!! But it gets sorted by the two lads in that room – they’re from Stoke and seem good craic!
While we’re getting ready, Dave comes up and informs us that….Greasy Paul is here!! What on earth!? Are you serious!? AND….he’s sitting there eating into the free BBQ and isn’t even staying in this blimming hostel….what a pratt!!!!!!! Cannot believe he’s followed us from LA to Vegas and rocked up at the hostel – what a numpty! And isn’t staying here – how rude!!!!!! Anyways, we tell the Stoke lads – that keep appearing at the room – how much of a twit this Paul is and they’re like ‘yikes, best stay on the right side of you pair!’ haha – Hayley Rage combined! Anyhoo, the lads head out on the town and said that they’ll txt us and see where we’re at.
We get ready and neck a bottle of vino before hitting the strip! We wait for the $3 bus and away we go. The crazy Dutch boys have joined us and this kiwi girl, who doesn’t speak much….this should be interesting an night!
Oh my days! This place is beyond crazy – I can’t stress this enough!! There are so many flashy lights everywhere, posh cars driving around, hundreds of people walking around, everything is 24hrs – food places, bars, casinos. It is total mayhem!
We head to Rockpalace as us girlies want to have a dance, but we get told its $20 to get in, so Dave says no……then we go next door into OShea’s and the boys start to gamble. Hayley has a go on some random game – but we aint got a clue….we have to roll the dice and hope for the best!! Rip off methinks! Turns out the game was called Craps – how apt!
Us girls are getting bored with watching the hundreds of sad people gambling their life away, so we neck our wine and decide to go on the hunt for a club. We actually get stopped by the PR person for Rockpalace and get told that we’re allowed in for free, as we’re women!! How funny! So we’re in and the voddie n red bulls are a flowing. We end up getting chatting to some right randoms, who are all having crazy parties back at their hotel room – aye right, think we’ll skip on that thanks. Then the barmaid comes up and says ‘hey girls, you wanna go VIP? It’s free drink!’ so we’re like ‘whey hey, we’re up for that’. We then get taken to this reserved seating and get sat with two, fat middle-aged American guys….and the barmaid says ‘there you go, you girls have fun!’ and winks! Errr what now!? We were supposed to ‘entertain’ these mingers?! Argh!! This is all too crazy, so we down the free drinks and get our asses out of there….mental mental….
We flag a taxi down and get home eventually…there were a few stops along the way but that’s another story….
CRAZY VEGAS!!!

Hayley

Wed 20th May - Universal Studios - whoohoo!!

Well, getting blown to bits in the back of the van yesterday didn’t do me any favours as I’ve woken up with the cold – grrr…best not be swine flue….I had the worst night’s sleep as was really paranoid about it!!
Anyways, we all get up and head for Universal Studios – I’m sooooo excited! It’s fairly easy on the metro, just taking 10minutes. It’s a scorcher of a day and we have to wait for the wee Universal Studios train to take us up into the park. Hayley and I are sat beside this ‘larger than life’ woman at the bus stop and she starts chatting to us about our accents. She then asks us what we think of LA and Hayley says ‘well, it’s so different compared to home. Everything is sooooooooooo much bigger!’ Well, the woman then answers ‘what like the people?’ and I start to squirm!! After a few ‘errs…well, there is a lot of fast food around here and healthy stuff is so expensive!’ from both of us, the woman then starts to say ‘no it’s true. We are all much bigger over here and it’s because we are such busy people. I mean, we rush to work everyday and so we have to grab fast food, it’s the only option. Yeah, we are all such busy people’. What!?!?! Are you serious!? Do you think that people in our capital cities at home aren’t busy people, with busy lives and stressful jobs!? Do you think we all live in castles in the countryside, chillaxing and eating berries?!?!? Well, that’s what I was thinking….luckily, the train/bus thing arrived and we got on and she wished us a happy time in LA. What a muppet!
We take our pics by the famous Universal Studios Globe and on the red carpet and then head into the park. First up is the House of Horrors! Vanstone and I are such wimps that we latch onto Dave and Aaron whilst walking through the House of Horrors. There are loads of cobwebs everywhere and the occasional random mummy jumping out of you, which sends us shrieking! We’re both such wimps and are glad to get out into the sunshine afterwards haha! High blood pressure now – not good!
Then it was off do the actual studio tour. Along the way, Hales and I managed to get our picture taken with Frankenstein, while the boys got pics taken in the mouth of Jaws….true story! It was a bit of wait for the tour, very reminiscent of queuing at Alton Towers and growling at all the posh peeps that had bought the queue jump ticket – grrrr! But it was worth the wait as we got to see some really funky stuff on the tour: The Desperate Housewives set, a scene from War of the Worlds set – the one where there’s a massive plane crash – it was HUGE!! We also go underground and see a subway set, with a massive lorry coming crashing towards us!! So much fun!! The tour takes 45 minutes and we all enjoyed lots! But we wanted action, so off to get on The Simpson’s Ride – whooohoo!!
WHEY HEY!!!! Such a funny ride!! You sit in a cart thing, which holds 8 of you, but there were only 5 of us in there – us and this wee laddy behind us! You then get taken on a cartoon rollercoaster! It’s weird but sooooo effective – you actually think you’re on a proper rollercoaster and then flying through the air in Springfield! So funny!
We then did the Jurassic Park ride, which is a bit of log flume ride and we all get drenched! Then off to the Mummy ride which was a bit disappointing – too short! What was eventful though was watching some huge monster of a bloke get turned away from the ride…poor bloke! But if he had read the signs whilst queuing, it states ‘Our seats may not accommodate every patron here. Please try the tester seat before getting to the front of the queue’ and so he didn’t and then gets knocked back after trying to squeeze into a seat. How embarrassing!!
There were a load of special effects type ‘rides’ / ‘experiences’ which we all went to – not as exciting as the rides but still fun. The Backdraft one showed us crazy fire effects, the Terminator one was really tired looking and needed updating but the Shrek 4D was a right hoot! You watch a mini movie of Shrek and have to wear these geeky green 4D glasses and sit in this movie theatre – god, I sound so American! Then during the showing, you get sprayed on when Donkey sneezes and there are rats running around your feet (you get air pumped around your feet!). Very impressive!
We end the day with a showing of Waterworld which is this amazing spectacle of people on jet skis, explosions and mean pirates jet soaking you – yup, we got drenched cos I looked at him!! Argh – not good for the cold!! Thank god it’s roasting as we get dried fairly quickly.
Unfortunately, the park closed at 6pm but we did most of the ‘rides’ and we’re all very knackered! We head home and get all packed for our trip to VEGAS tomorrow!!

Hayley

Tues 19th May - Off to spy on some celebs!

Everyone is taking full advantage of having a lie-in today, but I actually surface first at 1ish….the lazy boys are still in the land of nod. I get chatting to sleazy Paul and he’s wondering when we’re heading to Vegas and whereabouts we’re staying. There’s summat not quite right about this lad - he has this crazy trans-atlantic twang and then reckons he’s got loads of mates in LA……but why, pray tell, are you staying in a hostel then and not at your so-called mates’ place!??? Hmmm….DODGY one!
Vanstone and I chill in the sun while the boys get ready. Once everyone is up and ready, we head towards Hollywood Boulevard. We get stopped by some random tout bloke who wants to sell us the Tour of the Star’s homes but he looks very dodgy, handing us a dog-eared leaflet…..oh and his crackwhore of a girlfriend was lagging behind him as well….yup, all very professional – no thanks buddy! We carry on up the boulevard and stop for a late lunch at Big Wings. Vanstone and Aaron have MASSIVE burgers which are the size of their heads! Dave and I opt for salads which are just as big – America is all about excess – it’s crazy!
The late lunch sorts out the fuzzy heads that some of us have (mainly Aaron) and off we go in search of Britney’s star on the walk – well, that’s what Hayley and I are on the lookout for!!! The Chinese Mann theatre is really good with all the stars’ handprints on the walkway and we get to see how big Travolta’s shoes really are – he wore very pointy ones on that day! Hayley and I manage to book onto the 5.45pm tour of the stars’ home – super excited – and we leave Dave and Aaron to mooch about Hollywood! Hmmm…I spy a Hooters….bet they go in there!
Well, the tour was such a hoot! Funniest time ever!! We’re basically in a minibus but with the roof cut off and our tour guide is a Jack Nicholson wannabe! (he really does look like him actually!). As everyone in Hollywood is the same, the tour guide was an aspiring actor but never made it big…..oh dear….well, his tour was really fun and we were shouting out stuff for him to take us to (mainly stuff from The Hills as Vanstone is a HUGE fan!). Hayley and I are stuffed in the back of the van next to these 2 Swedish boys and its sooooooooo bumpy going up towards Mulholland Drive! We can’t stop giggling at the randomness of it all! We pass several celebs houses on the way up there – Nicole Richie n Benji Madden’s house, Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Charlize Theron’s new pad getting decked out – it’s all very interesting for us – the boys would’ve hated this!
The bus stops at the top of Mulholland Drive and we’re allowed to get out and take pics of the famous Hollywood sign in the hills – whooohoo!! I can’t believe we’re looking at the most iconic sign that you see on the telly – mental! As the sun is setting, it’s rather chilly in the van and the nice tour guide hands out big blankets for us all- aww bless him! He has a few funny stories to tell along the way (apparently, he used to drive Nicholas Cage to work!) and takes us all over Hollywood, Bel Air and Beverly Hills. We see the shop where Pretty Woman – Julia Roberts – goes in and says ‘BIG MISTAKE!’ to – its all sooooooooo cool! We see the Fresh Prince’s house, Simon Cowell’s mansion avec 2 huge black Bentleys outside and even spy the Playboy mansion! The craziest ‘home’ was the Spelling mansion (Aron Spelling – father to Tori – maker of Beverly Hills 90210 etc) – this mansion was truly huge and has millions of rooms, cinema and other pointless faff in it! The money these people spend on houses is UN – blimming – believable!

We get back after 8pm and meet up with the boys who have been shopping – haha! Hayley and I are freezing so make a quick stop at Starbucks – it’s cheap as anything over here – and off we go back to the hostel.

Universal Studios tomoz – yay!!!!

Hayley

Mon 18th May - 'America's Got Talent!'

We all surface around 10am and luckily, Hayley had slept fine for her first night in shared accommodation! Hurrah! I’m so blimming excited about today and want to get cracking to go see “America’s Got Talent”. Bring on the Hoff!!! We hit the metro and get off at 7th Metro centre and then jump in a cab to the theatre where it’s being filmed.
There’s a really strict screening process as we wait to enter the theatre. We’re not allowed large handbags, mobiles or cameras on us when we’re watching the filming. Boo hiss! I want a picture with Shazza Osbourne! So we file in and then get seated and watch the special people around us! It’s full of high school performing kids, who are screaming and hollering at the warm up guy! It’s mental and so damn American! The warm up guy is fairly funny but we have to endure him for at least 2 hours before the real action starts! Before that happens, we get spoken to by the stage manager and some other behind the scenes man who talks through all these staged actions we, as an audience, have to do! Yup, it’s all fake folks!! He made us do the following – imagine cheesy American accent:
1. Act shocked guys, I mean really shocked! You just cant believe what you’re seeing on stage
2. Now act bored. Come on people, really focus on this. Yawn away!
3. This time we want laughter! Think of the funniest thing you’ve seen and laugh away folks
4. Now guys, we want boos! The act up here STINKS and you need to tell them that! Go on and make the X sign! And shout ‘OFF OFF OFF’
5. And finally crazy applause people! Come on, let’s go crazy! We want this act to go all the way to Vegas! It’s the best act you’ve ever seen and they’re gonna win the competition! Whoop, Holler y’all!
So, there you have it! All the reactions you see on TV are staged and edited by the peeps who can….very eye opening!
However, enough of that chat. The fun is about to begin as they bring in the Celebrity Judges – we’re all so excited, even though Dave and Aaron would never admit it! First up it’s Piers Morgan – who has got far too much make up on, then next is Sharon Osbourne, looking oh so glam and then……….THE HOFF!! Haha, this guy is a tool but a bit of a legend it has to be said – he comes down the aisle with his Baywatch jacket, life raft thingy and shades on– haha – what a muppet! They all get seated and then it’s stop, start, stop, start after that for another 3hours! We went in at 12.30 and left the place near 6pm!!!
But I don’t care, it was great to see what really happens behind the scenes. These judges get touched up – make up and hair wise – after EVERY act! Crazy chat! All judges had a bit of idle chat with the crowd but that was in between takes. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to go near them as they were surrounded by bodyguards most of the time! Damn it!
The acts we saw included: roller skating dance troupe, rubbish poet, crazy kite man, a belter of a singer who got all emotional when she got put through, cute wee kids that danced to RUN DMC and a few other freaks that I can’t remember!
All very crazy but I loved it. After that, we had a peek around Macy’s and grabbed some Mexican food for tea. Then it was back to the hostel to get ready and hit the town! LA nightlife here we come – how exciting!
After having a few bevvies in the hostel and getting annoyed by Greasy Paul, we head out around 10pm in a cab towards Sunset Boulevard. We wanted to go to the Dragonfly on Santa Monica, but the cab driver was Armenian and didn’t know where it was! Haha – he was funny chat, apparently had Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart in his cab once…
We get dropped off outside Whiskey a go go – where the Doors were discovered – and then spy The Viper Room across the street! Whoohoo, let’s go see where River Phoenix died of an overdose, how very macabre. Anyway, the place is really small and has a wee stage where some indie type band are playing. I like the atmosphere and it’s a quirky wee place. We stay there for a bit and watch Aaron get more and more tanked. Seriously, he’s turned into a lightweight this holiday! Haha.
Vanstone and I get chatting to the security dudes outside as we want to go for a boogie, they tell us to try up the road in various bars, but they all deny us when they spy our flipflops!! Er hello?! It’s a Monday night AND these are nice pretty flipflops AND I’m wearing a nice dress – raaaaaaaa – poncey American gimps! After being denied by a few swanky places, we end up at Saddler’s Ranch which is a cheesy place and has a mechanical Rodeo bull thing you can ride. Well, us being us we decide to persuade Aaron to do it – haha – he’s so wasted he wont last long! He has a few go’s on it and just goes flying! Bless him...the place shuts at 2am and so we head out onto the street to flag a cab down. After 10 mins we manage to hail one and its another Armenian cab driver - how random! Unfortunately, he doesnt have any famous people chat to entertain us with...but he does like to race blimming motorbikes at traffic lights - argh!!! We get dropped off at the Wendy's up the road for some post drinking grub and we get chatting to some randoms for AGES!

Eventually, we stagger into the hostel and see greasy Paul in the room, who had just got in from his night. He was schmoozing some place else....anyways....Hayley's phone is now working - yay! so we all have a girlie cheer about that but then get promptly told to be quiet by Paul - how rude! He'd only just got into bed - GIMP!

Hayley

Sun 17th May - Brummie Hayley arrives!

We sleep in til around 12 noon and I get breakfast for everyone – a Subway – as there is nothing else on offer, apart from Chinese, KFC or macdonalds….hmmmm where are all the healthy shops?! Anyways, not to worry, the weather is lovely and warm and I can forget about wearing a hoody for a while now!!
The 3 of us set off to pick the Vanstone up from the airport – I so hope she likes the hostel. It’s a nice wee community all by itself, just hope she don’t mind being on the top bunk above Aaron – haha!
The tube ride is a bit of a farce as we get sat delayed on one for ages. Must be cos it’s a Sunday. Argh, hope Vanstone waits at arrivals and doesn’t stress! We’re almost there luv! We manage to get to the airport, which has taken us nearly 2hours! What on earth!? A running Hayley comes up to us ‘thank god you’re here! I was worrying that you weren’t coming and I didn’t know where to go, or what to do!!! Thank god!!! Yay!!!!’ bless her – she’d been waiting for almost 45minutes, but said the novelty of having Lionel Ritchie on her flight was keeping her occupied – haha how funny!!
I prepare her for all the crazy peeps on the tube and she’s in her element, being nice to beggars and telling them we had no change, unlike us who just blanks them! Just like me, she gets all excited when the Hollywood sign in the hills appears. We dump her stuff in the room and then hit the supermarket – Ralph’s – for some dinner and very much needed vino! I’m well impressed that the Vanstone manages to stay awake until gone past midnight. Good skills! Not like us who all collapses as soon as we check into a room!

Hayley

Sat 16th May - Bye Bye NZ, Hello Hollywood!

Bye Bye New Zealand today! As I had been to bed at a normal time and didn’t drink myself stupid, I’m wide awake and raring to go! However, the boys are hungover and I have to contend with their grumpiness….grrr! Anyhoo, we all manage to check out successfully (not happy that we got charged for baggage storage – pesky money grabbing gits!) and we head across the road to Maccie D’s for breakfast. I decide to leave the hungover, crap chat boys to it and go discover some sights of Auckland – ahem, the shops! I ring mum on the way and stop in Auckland city park – v nice and full of war memorials. Then I go shopping! Managed to pick up some souvenirs and a dress for me – yay!
I head back to the hostel to chill before getting the 2pm bus. The flight is at 6pm so we get there in plenty of time. The check out dude was a very small man who decided to give us a right thorough going over! He blabbed on and on about not taking lighters with us and wanted to see the exact address for where we were staying, so we had to faff about and load up the laptop – all at check in for god sake – and show him our hostel address – idiot! Small man Syndrome! But he put it all down to the American’s and their rules! Aye whatever…it’s cos we look dodgy with our rucksacks I bet!?
We head through to security and as ever, Dave gets pulled up for a ‘random’ check – everywhere he goes, he gets stopped for one of those ‘explosive materials’ test. I wonder if it’s his glasses that makes him get stopped – looks all chemist geeky like?! Maybe!
Our flight sets off at 6pm and is 10hrs long – ugh! However, we arrive the same Saturday morning at 10am – OMG – my head is getting messed up! Groundhog Day! The flight goes quite quick actually, there’s some nice food but I don’t get any sleep. Aaron gets chatting to some old dude with DVT that has to keep walking around so they keep me awake – plus, he gets told no more drink – again – from the stewardesses! Haha! What a guy!
So, its Saturday again when we land…..and we find out Dave’s card is blocked, so we have to wait while he faffs with that before heading on the free bus to the metro. Wow, there are some right ol crazies around here. Especially on the metro, we have to change right near Compton and you can just feel the dodginess! We eventually get to the hostel and its hot hot hot! Yay! We can’t crash out tho cos the room aint ready – raaaaaa – I’m soooooooo tired and can hardly function. We eventually get in and it’s a nice wee place, with bathroom ensuite and wee kitchenette. There’s 3 sets of bunkbeds and just us so far – lets hope it stays that way….but alas no, we’re asleep when another dude rocks up, Paul from London – greasy, tanned bloke. Has a transatlantic accent which just puts me right off from the start….
We all get up at 8ish and head out for dinner – Devil Burger…..cos there is nowt else – on Hollywood boulevard. Again, lots of crazy people out but funny to see and hear them all! Just like watching a film or sitcom! We head back and it’s away to bed again! This has been, literally, the longest day ever!! But…..Hayley arrives tomoz – yipppeeee – girlie time again!!

Hayley

Fri 15th May - Adventure day!

So, we’re up and ready to get picked up at 9.45am. We all have to make sure we’ve got our swimmers with us, a spare pair of socks and warm clothes…..hmmmm ok….we get introduced to our instructor who is a youngish guy called Neil, who sounds very English but with a kiwi twang. We fill out some risk assessment / health and safety / disclaimer thing which covers their backs if we go missing in the caves I reckon! It’s us 3 plus a German couple – Eden and Ettienne – and we all pile into this minibus which has a slight aroma of wet dog.
He takes us off the beaten track and pulls up outside three sheds and starts telling us about the day. Firstly, we’re going to get kitted out with wetsuits, attractive white wellies, then we have to put a pair of pyjama bottoms over the wetsuit….god knows why…followed by our trusty helmet which has a light on it! So we get our wetsuits dished out and away we go to get changed. argh, what a faff trying to put a wet suit on! Lots of jumping around and squeezing yourself into rubber – nice!
Once that palaver was done, we pick our wellie boots and pj bottoms. Don the helmets and we jump back into the minibus and get taken down this valley. We hop out there and then walk down for some rope training. Neil shows us the technique of abseiling, all done of flat ground, which was weird but necessary I feel! We don’t have gloves on and I can feel my poor wee hands getting roughed up by the rope. After ten minutes of practice, we head down towards the abseiling point……as the cave entrance is 30ft below us.
Aaron volunteers to go first, hero that he is, and away he goes into the black abyss! Dave next, then Eden, then me, then Etienne. No hiccups so far and we all survive! Once we land at the mouth of the cave, there is pretty fast flowing river going through the cave, which I wasn’t expecting…..the wellies are already filled with water and it feels like you’re walking through treacle – this is going to be hard work – how am I going to cope!? Neil tells us to all walk in single file and head into the cave….the mouth of the cave is about 10ft high, so you don’t feel claustrophobic….yet…..and away we go into the unknown…..
It certainly is an experience, but one I wouldn’t want to do again!! It’s very demanding and there are parts where you have to crawl through tiny holes and the potential for a freak-out due to claustrophobia is HIGH! Neil shows us the glow worms which was really amazing. We’re all sitting there, on a rock in the pitch black and you look up at the ceiling of the cave and there they all are! Thousands of glowing dots above your head! Beautiful to see! But then that was followed by me falling over in the fast flowing river and clinging onto a rock for my dear life….with the instructor yelling at me to stop! Er hello?! It’s pitch black and you’re yelling ‘oi you, stop’ at the whole group with your light shining in my face – who do I know who you’re talking to!? Grrrr!!! He did apologise slightly, saying ‘I’m not being a knob on purpose, it’s for your own safety’ ah ok, cheers mate…..how about you learn the groups’ names like a good instructor – doofus!
After that faff, its onto black water rafting…..you jump into your black rubber ring and away you go….yeah, sounds fun doesn’t it? Not when you have a rubber ring that wont accommodate your fat ass and you keep falling out of it, going under freezing fast flowing water and gasping for breath, trying not to smash your face into rocks on either side….yeah fun it was……….bloody traumatic I say! Dave didn’t even try to save me!! Neil eventually susses out my problem and swaps rings around which is much better, but now I’m scared for my life and not wanting to do this anymore!!
We get back to the entrance of the cave – such a good feeling to see daylight again – hallelujah! But then we get told we have to rock climb up the way we came down…..with wellies on?! Great, I’m so exhausted and just want to get back into the safety of our hire car and head to Auckland! I’m second to go up and slip as I start, so the rope goes very tight as I head up! I’m sure Neil has it under control…..but I manage it and I know it’s all over – yay!!!
After the ordeal is over and we pay for the photos, we get given a bowl of tasty tomato soup – for our efforts! Nah, it does the job and away we go heading to Auckland. It’s supposed to take about 2 and a bit hours, but we’ll be hitting rush hour so nearer 3. Everyone is cream crackered with Aaron crashing out in the back immediately. Dave and I swap over and he then crashes out. Luckily, I’ve had 40 winks and a coffee so I’m all good and end up driving the whole way back to Auckland – even driving in the blimming city centre!!!!
We check into Base and get told it’s a free bar downstairs from 8pm – we get there at 8.10pm and the free bar has finished – what!? Pesky travellers! Haha. I have a couple then head upstairs to pack and ring a few peeps. Not long now til the Vanstone arrives – yay! Can’t wait for some crazy LA banter! The boys stagger in past 1am, reeking – hmmmm nice hangover for them tomorrow!

Hayley

Thur 14th May - Playing in the snow!

A nice leisurely start of 10am and it’s off to the National Park. As we get higher and higher, the weather changes dramatically and we end up playing in the snow by a ski resort! BALTIC CONDITIONS!!! But as soon as you’re down the hill, it's fine again. We’re aiming for Waitomo so we stop off at random places throughout the day, including local parks and coffee stops. Some places were a bit weird and erm….inbred should I say!?
We find Waitomo and check into the hostel – it's really a wee house with 3 rooms in the middle of nowhere. No one is there to check us in so we had to ring a free fone number and let the owners know we were there! We kill some time by hitting the local supermarket – 20minute drive away – and I find they stock a wine called........NED WINE – how funny!!! Had to take a pic of course!!
Dinner is some local mussels, followed by pizza. I start faffing about on the laptop trying to upload pictures from today…..and then I discover I’ve accidentally deleted a whole day’s worth – nooooooooooo!!!! Dave gives me the ‘uh oh, how stupid are you?’ look and I start getting emotional, argh! So so so annoyed….but at least it was only a day and not a week’s worth…..
We speak to the owner of the hostel and book onto a crazy activity adventure day tomorrow – Abseiling, Caving, Rafting, and Rock Climbing. I’m slightly nervous about this…..

Hayley

Wed 13th May - Steaming pools of mud

After a decent nights’ kip, we’re up and away after 10am. The hostel owner has given us some tips on where to see the geo thermal stuff, mud pools and other crazy things on our way to Okahune….which, by the way, is pronounced very differently (Oh-hunay) – now you know!
The mud pools are sooooooo mental!! We stop off at quite a few today and they are amazing! The stench is still rife but you are mesmerized at these bubbly, steaming pools of mud. Crazy stuff.
It’s a long drive after all the geo thermal stuff, as we’re just driving through complete wilderness. It reminds me of driving up north back home! However, we did see the beautiful Lake Taupo and even did some prawn fishing….yup, fishing for prawns?! How very weird! But it was fairly cheap and killed some time – Aaron and Dave were in their competitive element wanting to beat each other! Dave got the first one and then I got a whopper! YAY!!! Aaron had to stay for hours longer so he could get some and not feel embarrassed – bless him!
We eventually get to Okahune and it’s just like an alpine ski resort. Once you enter the village/town, you drive past a HUGE carrot statue….i kid you not…..apparently, this place is THE carrot capital of the world or some schizz like that…..would I lie about this stuff?!
The hostel is nice, with a small group of people there. They’re all up for getting steaming – must not be much to do around here! So we all settle down to watch Defiance and have some vino. After that, the boys go to bed and I start to surf the net for stuff to do in the States……guess what I found?! Free showings of America’s Got Talent – oh yes!!!!! With The Hoff, Sharon Osbourne and Piers Morgan. We’re off to see that on Monday – what a hoot!!

Hayley

Tues 12th May - Hit the Road Jack

We all get up at 8.30am and head for the car rental place – Jucy Cars. It’s a bit of an uphill trek and we all remember how damn heavy these rucksacks are, when you have to cart them uphill. We eventually get there, half an hour later, and get shown our car for the week – A white Nissan Sunny. Not too bad a size actually!
We hit the road aiming for Rotorua. Dave goes first as it’s an Automatic and I aint up for that in the city centre. We stop for pies as a brunch stop – tasty tasty – in some random lil’ village and away we go again. It’s a fairly long drive, but there’s loads to keep us occupied what with all the crazy named places along the way! Te Puke – nice – and even Bethlehem! How random! We stop for fish n chips at some random seaside boating village and even visit a winery. She only let us taste one bottle, but there was a sale on so we purchase a couple of cheap but posh bottles of wine!
A stop was made at the Kiwi Centre…..but it was chucking it down with rain so we couldn’t get a tour of the kiwi ‘orchard’ shame! It would’ve been fun as they drive you around in these funky kiwi mobiles!! So instead, we had a gander at the gift shop which included, Kiwi jam, kiwi choccies and kiwi wine!?!
We get to Rotorua at tea time – after getting a tad lost….but the boys wont admit that will they!? Not to be offensive to the people of Rotorua, but the place STINKS!!! It reeks of sulphur and is pretty damn hard to get used to….but our hostel is fab! It’s called Crash Palace and even has a Jacuzzi out the back! There aren’t many folk staying there so we end up in a huge dorm to ourselves – whooohooo!
The three of us grab our cosies and hit the Jacuzzi. It’s blimming freezing outside, but oh so toasty in the hot tub! So very weird, but just what we needed! Aaron is even allowed to have a fag and a beer in there! So as not to break with tradition, we settle down to some fried rice and watch….Hells’ Kitchen! Just like being in Roxburgh, apart from no crazy kitchen full of people and we have heating! Yay!

Hayley

Mon 11th May - Off to the North Island

Got woken up at silly o’clock by one of the Geordie lad’s alarms – he’s a Man Utd fan (idiot) and wanted to get up and see the derby match….he never got up! Haha! We got up and checked out at 10am and then did lots of boring stuff with the bank. We needed to cash our last pay cheque and sort out when we could close the bank account. BNZ were very helpful and it all seemed fairly straightforward – yay!
I leave the boys to mooch, while I go off and spy on the shops….can’t be having them hanging around me while I spend….hmmm….turns out there was nowt in the shops for me – boo hiss! We have a coffee in the square and then get the v cheap bus shuttle from the hostel to the airport - $5 baby!! It’s run by a German / Kiwi dude who was good fun, telling us his tales of how he ended up in NZ and where he’s been travelling. Interesting bloke who now hates Germans haha
The flight was very painless, only an hour and a half. We get the bus from the airport into the town centre and get dropped off on some random street. It’s pretty easy to navigate around and we walk up to the hostel – it’s MASSIVE!!!!!! Like a mini travel lodge really. We check into a dorm room and get chatting to the girl in there – she’s another one out of the mould ‘Down South Traveller on Gap Year on Mum n Dad’s Money’ – but who I am to judge?! Nah, she’s a nice girl and was telling us all about the crazy stuff she’s done on the Kiwi Experience….they totally screw those kids for everything on that Kiwi Bus!!!! Make them do sky diving, bungee, caving etc etc!! Literally haemorrhaging money!!
Went for all you can eat pizza at bar downstairs – so stuffed! Got chatting to some lone traveller boy and then I left the boys to it and packed.

Hayley

Sun 10th May - Ta Ta Roxburgh

Wow! Today’s the day we get our asses out of Roxburgh! It’s finally here and we can holiday again – whooohoo!! I look outside and……..it’s been SNOWING!!! Man, it’s freezing!!! Dave and Aaron are a little worse for wear and stinking of drink – as ever!! John comes down and says his final farewells to us. He’s so nice and said he wishes he could’ve spent more time with us, taking us on hill walks and stuff. Bless him! He even says we don’t look like we’ve spent the past 2 months working hard! Haha!

Rachel baked us cakes, bread and cookies! How nice! We then have to say our good byes and I start blubbing when I hug everyone…..man, what a geek I am! It’s weird that we’ve only known these people for a couple of months, but we’ve lived and worked with them everyday for the past 2 months so of course, it’s going to be upsetting when we all finally leave. I’m sure I saw a tear in Aaron and Dave’s eye…..

We got the 10am bus and just as it was pulling away, we saw Louise and Yammi running beside the bus! Aww man, I felt so bad that we didn’t go and say bye, but we had so much to do this morning. Bless them; they had even baked us cookies with our initials on them!

It’s an uber long bus journey, stopping off at various places along the way – even places that we stopped at last year! We eventually get to Rainy Christchurch after 6pm and check into Base hostel at the cathedral. We’re in a room with 3 geordie lads who’ve just arrived from Australia. We meet the lovely Wiebka, Peter and Alban down in the bar after 9pm and we’re all squealing away as we’re all free from the apples! We have a few but everyone is so tired it isn’t a late one and we end up in Burger King for a late night snack!

Sat 9th May - Bye Bye Apples

So, it’s finally here. Our last day of apple packing….FOREVER!! I was in paparazzi mood, taking pictures of everything including having breakfast for the last time at 6.30am! It felt really weird at work and I think I’m going to actually miss it!! Crazy, I know but it’s all the great people we’ve met here. I asked Jackie – big boss lady – as a joke, if I could have a shot on a forklift and thought she had forgotten all about it. But at the end of the shift, when we were all gathered for some group photos, she goes ‘Hayley, you had a shot on the forklift yet?’ and I was like ‘er….no!’ and she says ‘well, come on then!’ so away I went with her and jumped in and DROVE A FORKLIFT!!! Haha, in your faces BOYS!! I think I missed a tower of boxes by a few millimetres…..but so much fun – Jackie is a legend!

Lyndon dropped us off safely – thank god for that – and even said ‘no hard feelings and all the best with the travelling’ – ARGH IDIOT!!!!! Anyway, that is over and I never want to see him again! We had Aussie Cath come by the hostel for some drinkies and then we went to the pub to meet Secret Sue and Brucey Bonus – awww so glad they came out! But, as ever, the pub closed after 11pm –Dave went to Villa Rose, but I went back and phoned mum and then hit the sack!

Fri 8th May - We've found Jesus

Well, today was an exciting day! Firstly, we changed to an uber posh type of apple – “Tentation” apples. I mean, these apples had to be treated with kit gloves. The machines were slowed right down so we could literally place the apples into the boxes. If you looked at these bad boys, they bruised!!

However, the novelty soon wore off and the day went by oh so slowly until…………….
I FOUND JESUS ON AN APPLE!!!!!!!!! OH YES I DID!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn’t believe it. I was just looking at this one apple, wondering if there was too much russet on it and I saw it! Everyone agrees that it’s a good un! Bring on EBAY – I’m going to sell it to some stupid American! Finished work on such a high, I even showed it to grumpy moped lady who laughed! She actually did!

Thur 7th May - Aaron and the Asian Persuasion

It was a super slow day at work today, but luckily overtime was off as Helen had worked her magic during the day and got the rest of the pacific’s packed. Hurrah!! I don’t think I could’ve coped with another bout of overtime. It really does knacker you!

Funny back at the Commercial around dinner time. Aaron has picked up some Asian fans! They’re all leaving this week and wanted their picture taken with Aaron. They were so funny cos they got one of the blokes to ask him, as they were too shy! Bless! Aaron has to move to Asia – they all love him – MEN as well as WOMEN….seriously!!

Wed 6th May - More OT, Need Sleep

I wake up and can’t open my eyes. The tiredness is soooooo bad and I can’t believe 2 extra hours a day has made me so exhausted.

Work drags by, mainly because of the tiredness. It doesn’t help when everyone comments on how tired you look – argh – no one wants to hear that….EVER!!!!! Don’t say it! As soon as overtime is done, we get a lift home and I head straight to bed. No energy for dinner or a shower!

Roll on Saturday……..

Tue 5th May - Overtime

Back to work but at least it’s our last week. Can’t believe we only have 5 days left – it has gone by so quick! After the first two weeks of pain that dragged by so slowly, the last week is finally here and it’s flown in. I manage to speak to Vanstone before breakfast and tell her the saga of crazy Lyndon and hope that we’re still alive to meet her in LA! She’s been busy researching places to stay in Vegas – whoohoo!! Even priced up Bellagio and MGM!! Haha, maybe one day….not this holiday though….

We all trundle outside to await the arrival of pratt-face Lyndon…..here we go…..not looking forward to the ‘uncomfortableness’!! We all decided to go outside for 7.10am as he’s never on time….oh look at that, he rocks up at 7.15am and…………he acts totally NORMAL saying good morning! Well, he gets nowt from us lot – what does he expect!? He then pulls over further up the road and picks up the hippy teacher woman from the grading section – his buddy at work – it all looks a bit suss, like he’s picking her up as some form of protection from us! We all get off the bus in silence and Aaron stays on it….to have a word with Lyndon…..this should be interesting.

Well…..Aaron comes in 5 minutes later and says that Lyndon did apologise – pah! Only to him though! And said he shouldn’t have let it build up inside of him to explosion level. He said it was to do with us slagging people off from work and if we wanted to do so, we should keep our comments until we get into the hostel. Fine, fair enough, but he still didn’t have to go mental at us like that – freak!

Work goes by really quick, which is good as 10 of us have agreed to do overtime for a few hours after work. Argh….I forgot about that!! We get a 20minute break after we finish at 5pm and then Jackie brings out choccies for us – yay! Overtime is fine, nowt stressful. There have been 32 palettes that have been checked by ENZA and returned to us to get repacked! It’s those pesky Pacific Rose which bruise and puncture really easily, so we have to get rid of all the bad uns and repack them all. It’s pretty painstaking, as we’re practically checking each and every apple. Hey ho, its money for spending in the States!

Anna gives us a lift home back to the Commercial and we end up telling her about the Lyndon saga. She can’t believe it – well, she always thought he was a bit weird – but says she was going to tell Jackie and co….haha! I told her to, but only after we’ve left so we don’t cause a scene during our last few days at work!

Mon 4th May - More Cakes

Another nice long lie and we head down for breakfast at the leisurely time of 11am. For once the kitchen is empty and we enjoy the silence! Kamila is in baking mode today – creating Afghan biscuits…..interesting! and as ever, Rachel is still creating masterpieces! She’s doing an ice cream cake and then a triple layer birthday cake….so much baking love for Tom!
I spend the day chilling out to some tunes and writing postcards back home. Later on, Rachel presents the big mama of a birthday cake to Tom and we all sing Happy Birthday to him. Unfortunately, she bought the never-ending candles and it’s a hoot watching him trying to blow out these crazy candles!! The cakes taste amazing and I start thinking ‘argh, bikini time soon……’ need to stop with all the baking and the eating! We hit the sack early, ready for tomorrow. I’m stressing out a lot about the whole Lyndon situation and if he’s going to run us off the road….eeeeeeeeek!!!!

Sun 3rd May - Cakes

We all have a nice long lie-in and get started on all of our washing – the Sunday ritual! As it’s Tom’s birthday on Tuesday, everyone is doing lots of baking this weekend and I get cracking with making Ginger Crunch – basically a Ginger slice with a crunchy biscuit base and ginger icing….can you tell I had a box of ginger spice to use up!?
Rachel is in full baking mode as well and we end up pigging out on a shed load of stuff – from home made oreos, to slices of ginger crunch and then Dave makes bread which is the size of a small country! It’s so good to think that we get another lie-in tomorrow –yay! However, I’m so stuffed that I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight….

Sat 2nd May - Dont read if easily offended.....

Temperature seems to have dropped yet again over night! Just didn’t want to escape the nice warm duvet! Oh well, only a week to go – whoohooo!! Must keep thinking that! It’s down to breakfast we go and check out Sky News and the ever doom n gloom over swine flu……I don’t care anymore – if it happens, it happens. Bring on the Tamiflu!
We all trek outside to see if the bus is on time and, again, he’s flipping late! For god’s sake – how difficult is it to be on time?! And again, no apology! We’re freezing our asses off in minus degrees and he can’t even say ‘sorry!’ – it’s the old lady Grader, who we pick up on the way, who I feel most sorry for. Grumble grumble!
We get to work and its’ Kris and Julia’s last day – booo!! Another lot bites the dust. She even gets all upset and teary when saying bye at the end of the day – awwww!! She goes (in her German accent) ‘I’m not crying, I have an apple in my eye!!’ Bless her – be happy that you don’t have to pack flipping apples anymore!
The fun of the day begins when the bus driver drops us off….man alive, don’t read on if you’re easily offended by bad language…..
Linden (Ginger pratt man) went BALLISTIC at us and I mean UBER MENTAL!!! And we have no idea why. After dropping off old lady Grader – she banged her head again and the boys were giggling after she closed the door – Linden pulled up outside the hostel and turned around suddenly, pointing at us and yells the following (again, don’t read on if easily offended – its shocking language!)
‘ RIGHT YOU GUYS, I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU F***ING, ARROGANT, ENGLISH C***S FOR THE PAST 2 DAYS! YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF F***ING C***S! I DON’T GET PAID FOR DRIVING THIS VAN EVERYDAY AND YOU LOT ARE THE WORST ARROGANT, ENGLISH F***ING C***S I HAVE EVER MET! YOU LOT HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THIS COUNTRY AND YOU’RE ALL ARROGANT ENGLISH C***S! DON’T YOU THINK I CAN HEAR WHAT YOU’VE BEEN SAYING ABOUT ME. NOW GET OUT!!! Have a good weekend (this bit was said in a nice tone!?)”
He kept repeating himself and going completely mental at us! I could not believe his language and how much of a rage he was in. It was so out of character and unexpected, that we were in total shock and all stumbled out of the van utterly gobsmacked! I felt really violated and oh so uncomfortable!! It was that bad! Seriously, the man is unhinged! How dare he speak to us all like that and not give a reason!?! I mean, if its because the boys laughed at the old lady banging her head – well, they all laughed when Kamila did it…..and that’s not an excuse to go psycho at us! I know our minibus banter can be a bit filthy at times, but the old dears loved it and found our chat very amusing. They never got offended and they even said, that they were going to miss us and our banter when we go…..what is his problem!?
The whole lot of us were dumbstruck and kept trying to piece together the reasoning for the outburst for the rest of the night. Rachel was gutted that she missed it all – oh so bizarre! Ugh, how dare he!? I’m so livid at the way he spoke to us!!
Anyway, we all get ready and have some drinks before heading to the pub – we decide to hit the old man’s pub and see if the guy will stay open for the footie. Kamila, Tom, Aaron, Dave and me all go there for a few drinks. Rachel stays back at the Commercial to bake…..all for Tom and his birthday! Bless!!
It’s so blimming cold and I have flip-flops on so I spend half the time in the pub defrosting my tootsies by the fire in the pub. The old man running it is there, so we try and sweet talk him into showing the footie – alas, he aint showing it. Boo hiss! I get a txt from Kris and they’re headed for the Villa Rose after the Variety Show, so we end up going there with a takeout of…….BACARDI BREEZERS – yay! I’m 17 again! Haha!! Aaron behaves and heads home – personally, I think he just doesn’t want to fall asleep and get covered in permanent marker again…..HAHA!!!
So, its Dave, Tom, Kamila and I that head to the Villa Rose. Man, it’s fecking freezing!! I joke around with everyone saying Linden will be there…..and we walk in…..and he is!!!!! ARGH!!!!! What on earth!? Man, this is going to be awkward! Anyhoo, I have too much rage for him so try and blot it out and just chat away to Kris. I drag her away and tell her the whole story about Linden and his psycho self! She said he used to have a lot of heated debates at lunch, which would make her uncomfortable and have to leave the table! LOONY, I tell ye!! Apparently, Crazy Michelle invited him – ahh, it makes sense now – cos we were taking the mick out of her manly walk and singing to herself on the street on the bus (see?! Anyone would do the same!)
Anyhoo, the psycho leaves after 5minutes so he obviously feels very uncomfortable around us – GOOD!!! The rest of the night is fairly tame and rather hippy commune-esque with Pounamu and Andreas singing and playing guitar! It’s so sad when we have to go as Kris starts to blub yet again ‘I have an apple in my eye!’ bless her! But she’ll be over to visit next year so not to worry!

Hayley

Fri 1st May - Countdown begins!

Whoohooo – a week and a day to go – the countdown is on! We all trudge outside and everyone can feel the severe drop in temperature…..it is baltic – ok, I maybe exaggerating but it’s cold when all you have is a thin hoody and a scarf (one of them fashion ones, not a proper woolly one). What makes the start to the day more uncomfortable is the fact that Ginger man is late again. Why can’t he be here at 7am or just tell us that from now on, it will be 7.10am – no biggie, just so we know!! ARGH!!! And no apology!!! Double ARGH!!! Where are his manners?! Well, he aint getting a good morning from me – pah!
The novelty of Granny Smiths is still rife in the packhouse; however, later on in the afternoon, it does get a little too hectic with them flying off the lines. I’m sure I must pick the fast conveyor belts……hey ho, 6 more working days….
Once back at the hostel, we manage to persuade Aaron to come to Vegas! He’s just so worried about spending all his hard earned cash there…..he says I will have take his wallet off him – even if he’s being a gimp and refusing to hand it over…great, going to love that job! Wrestling with a drunk, stubborn Aaron over his wallet in Vegas – who would do that!? Anyhoo, it also looks like Michael Niven will be able to catch a flight from Canadia to Vegas – muchos fun! Can’t wait for holiday fun to begin!

Hayley