Fri 27th Feb - sightseeing on a budget....

We have a slight lie in and get up after 9am – the luxury! We head over to the main reception area to scoff some breakfast and I’m actually looking forward to some cereal…….bleurgh….no such luck, the cornflakes taste weird and I’m sure the milk is either off or some weird soya concoction – not a happy bunny!!
Today is another sightseeing day –boo – but I’m gearing myself up that we leave tomorrow for Australia baby!! Can’t wait to get out of here and see Trent & Lucy – get some normality back into our lives again! Again, money is on our minds so we need to do the sightseeing for free….which we actually manage!
We trudge through Little India and see lots of temples and have a good old nosh at Banana Leaf café. The locals eat with their fingers – no cutlery – but as we’re tourists, they give us some knives n forks. Aaron, on the otherhand, has other ideas and wants to scoff like a child with his hands!! He’s like a pig in muck and is thoroughly enjoying the back to nature look! An older Indian couple start talking to us about where we’re going on holiday and what we did back home in the UK. They’re dead nice and wish us well on our travels – recommending a hot air balloon in Cairns…..aye maybes not on our budget, but thanks anyway!
So, we’ve done Little India and off to China Town now which is a few stops on the subway. Man alive, it’s like jumping continents in 10minutes! How weird!! We get off and there isn’t an Indian person to be seen, just all Chinese. We head to the Buddhist Tooth Relic temple and walk around that for a good few hours. There is a ceremony going on and a load of Buddhists just chanting out some rhyme over and over again. It’s a bit surreal and not very melodic!
After Chinatown, we decide to try and find Oxley Rise so Aaron can get his picture taken with his surname on a sign!! It aint too hard to find and afterwards, we end up in this huge mall. There’s a waxing salon in there – Strip – and it means anyone can rock up there and get their bits waxed in any style they want!!!!! How mental!?
After that, we’re getting hungry so we’re off back to Little India for a big curry. We all have mutton of some variety and its damn tasty, although a little bit like meat n gravy with some spice! Back to the hostel for last minute packing and I phone the rellies back home – it was funny ringing dad as I had the whole of his office running around trying to get him to the phone! We hit the sack at a decent hour as we’re up at 5am for the airport pickup – argh!

Hayley

Thur 26th Feb - how much for a pint?!

We’re up early at 6ish - ugh – and grab some brekkie quickly before checking out. The owners used the intercom when we left the building to say ‘Bye Hayley, Bye David, Bye Aaron’ – awwwwwwww – how nice!!!! Everyone should go stay there!!!
After some taxi bartering, we manage to get to the train station with plenty of time to spare. The boys go off in search of more breakfast and supplies for the train – they arrive back with Dunkin Donuts….good work piggies!!!
We’re booked onto First class on this train and I aint expecting much, due to previous experiences!! However, much to my surprise it’s really good!! Again, uber reclining seats and loads of legroom – great success Malaysia!! The train is over 6hrs and we have to get off the train at the border, only to get back on it after we pass through customs and immigration – weird but it worked with no hiccups!
We get to Singapore after 3pm and its…….. raining………and we’re starving yet again. What do we see? A Burger King – argh – hating all this fast food shenanigans! But we need to get some food and find out where Lavender street is for the hostel. We eventually stumble across the subway and pile on it and get to our destination – Little India – and it really looks like it!! Very random, full of Indians and lots of temples – hardly any Singaporeans about – weird!
The hostel is called The Hive and it looks like a funky wee place on the corner of this busy road. I particularly like the sign on the door ‘TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT. SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN!’ – haha – great, I’m slightly dubious about the safety of this place now…..
We get shown to our dorm and it’s big with about 8 bunk beds in it. One Indian guy is asleep on his bunk and beneath Dave’s bunk is a Buddhist monk. We’re all shattered and decide to have a kip for an hour or so.
Argh – we wake up at 9pm!! Man, must’ve needed that! A quick shower and change and out to Clarke Quay to show Aaron the price of beer. We get the subway there and have a nice meander around the quay. This place is too cool for skool – very George Street in Edinburgh x 10!! There’s a funky bar called Clinic which is based on a hospital ward – there are gold sprayed wheelchairs for chairs, the tables are operating tables and the lights are those big magnified things which peer down when you’re having an operation – how random is that!??!
We eventually bite the bullet and sit down at this place Yello Jello and cough up £6 for a glass of beer – LOL!!!! Never again are we paying this much!! However, its been a long ass day and we will sip this beer very slowly. People have so much money around this place and everyone oozes expensive taste – I HATE IT!! Haha – if I had won the lottery I would luv it, alas I’m a backpacker on a strict Dave budget….
It’s getting late and we’re all hungry. I put the foot down and say no to fast food chains so we head back and aim to pick up some street meat on the way back to the hostel. Argh, by the time we get there – it’s almost midnite and everywhere is shut – not good! Oh well, it wont kill us to miss a meal!

Hayley

Wed 25th Feb - fish eating spa!

Today is another sightseeing day, so we need to be up and ready early to get our free tickets to the Petronus Towers in the centre of the city. Looking forward to this as everyone has harped on about the impressive of the Towers.
We’re experts on the ol’ subway system and decide to get it to the Petronus towers – argh, its blimming rush hour and the tube is rammed!!!!!!! It doesn’t help that they only have 2 carriages or summat, so we get jammed on like sardines and get to the Towers just after 9am – the free tickets are for 10.15am so we have a wee bit of time to skulk about the museum part and figure out some brainteasing tasks – well, the boys did. I just watched!
The start of the tour is a 3D showing of the history of the towers and when they were built. Yup, we had to wear some groovy ass specs for this cinematic viewing – haha – we looked so cool! Then, we were all herded into a big lift to take us up to the viewing platform on the 42nd floor. Oh, before that though we had to go through security…..all a bit ominous!! Especially as this place was called the Twin Towers……
The views are pretty darn impressive when we get up there. I try and spy for lazy office workers looking out of their windows at all the gormless tourists, but no such luck!! It would be so mental to work in such a huge place like that – I’d be gazing out of the window all day at all the sheep/tourists!
After that freebie, we decide to head for the prestigious KL Tower. The weather is pretty muggy again and overcast. Hmmm….we take bets on when its gonna chuck it down…..we get up to the KL Tower point and find out its around £20 to go up – nah thanks, we’ll take some pics down here and then go find the famous fish eating spa! Very exciting!!
However, before that the boys want to do a rainforest walk. Yup, that’s right, there’s a rainforest in the middle of Kuala Lumpur city centre. How very random!!! We have a trek through it and even see a ‘wild’ monkey in the trees. I’m freaked out by it all as there are several signs saying ‘BEWARE!!! Dangerous Stingy evil bitey things are out in the forest’ or words to that affect. We end up getting bitten to shreds by damn mozzies and we leave after an hour or so – at last!!
After a short subway ride, we get to Central Mall where Eve has told us to go for the fish spa. I’m uber excited about this as these wee fishies apparently eat away dead skin and stimulate your feet – yay!! Bring it on!! Not saying my feet are a mass of hardened minging skin, but it’s the nearest thing I’m getting to a beauty treatment on this holiday!! Plus the boys want to do it too – heehee!!
We pay to get our feet munched and sit at a tall stool, ready to plunge our feet into the paddling pool full of wee fishes! There’s one other dude there, all chilled and relaxed so it all looks very simple and easy. Until we attempt to dunk our feet in…………..
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever ever done!!! The boys are peeing themselves laughing and keep whipping their feet out cos its too ticklish!! Aaron’s laugh is booming around the place and soon we have a right old audience – I’m almost crying from laughing so much!! The woman is giggling at us and says they aren’t biting as they have no teeth – it’s just a sucking sensation – aye whatever!! It’s still tickly as hell!!! We eventually get used to it – through gritted teeth – and start to enjoy the crazy sensation. Although its so weird, if you get the chance to do it, you MUST!!! The 20mins goes really quickly and my feet do feel super soft – so it must work!
We have a late lunch/dinner at the mall and then head back to the guesthouse. These guys are so polite, whenever you enter the general common-room bit, they always say ‘Hi Hayley’ or ‘Hi David’ or ‘Hi Aaron’ - they remember your names! Bless them! The boys hit the sack AGAIN and I tend to the washing and surf the net for a few hours. Luckily, I didn’t venture outside as the torrential rain starts and its bouncing off the roof!!!
That evening, again for saving pennies, we end up commandeering the DVD player and watch Bolt – the SuperDog, which is really funny! Singapore tomoz on the train. Not looking forward to that as hated it last time. Ugh, really liked KL and the people here. They’re so nice and helpful – nowt like Thailand – faith has been restored in humanity!

Hayley

Tue 24th Feb - KL here we come!

Aaron sleeps in and doesn’t manage to get a shower before checking out – oh dear! He’s also looking like a burn victim – the sunburn on his forehead has now turned into major peeling. Poor boy!! He even takes a pic for posterity. Dave tries to wind him up but he’s no different – his sunburn looks like liver spots all over his head – like his 80 odd!! Haha, at least I know what he’d look like when he’s an old gipper!
Once we’re all checked out, we have a 15min walk to the bus station. We get picked up by a minibus who then takes us onto the main coach pick up point in Butterworth. So its Bye Bye Georgetown and soon to be Hello KL! We load up our rucksacks into the undercarriage and try to shut the damn thing. Its all a bit battered and it don’t shut – argh – will I see my rucksack again!?
The coach driver at the pickup point is so nice to us, chatting away about Braveheart and Scotland – haha – Aaron loves the Scotland chat – NOT! The coach is sooooooo comfy!! The seats recline back to almost lying down point, the air con is spot on and it’s half empty!! Whoo hooo!
Coming into KL is pretty impressive. The streets are so clean and there are huge skyscrapers around. The sun is shining and it’s baking hot. We get off the coach around 3pm and we’re starvin’ marvin, so off we head into the first place we see…….KFC….think we’re all craving a little bit of Western food so chicken it is! Dave manages to log on to the wifi and tracks down where we’re staying.
We need to find the subway station and then it should be opposite one of the stops – we’ll soon find out! Well, we managed that and it cost a total of £1.60 – whey hey. True to the hostel directions, the Matahari Lodge was across the road from the train station. Yay!
Well, what a welcoming! The owners were so polite and friendly when we checked in. There’s a rooftop seated area, a big plasma and DVD player – whoohoo, we can watch our cheap DVDs we bought the other day. There is toast and coffee for brekkie and our room is really spacious for the 3 of us. There are showers right next to our room and washing machines – saviour – for next to nothing as well. This should be good!
Our night was spent by watching Slumdog Millionaire on the DVD player – that film is oh so good!! You all have to go see it!! One of the dudes that worked in the guesthouse – Zac – was sooo in lurve with the film, he practically gave away bits of the film. Bless him – haha! Bed is fairly late after midnight.

Hayley

Mon 23rd Feb - Out n about in George Town

We surface at 9.30 and head down for breakfast. We get presented with 2 pieces of toast, a slice of banana cake and some coffee. That’ll do me just fine! With a map, the 3 of us decide to have a trek around the city, do some sightseeing for as cheap as poss and book our transport onto KL.
It’s a funny ol place this Georgetown. It’s kind of oldie-worldy but with new buildings and shopping centres thrown in for fun. We head to the bus station and try and suss out our onward travel to KL. We get stopped by a bloke sitting on a plastic chair and he takes us over to a travel agent – argh – here we go again with the rip off merchants. However, I am mistaken! He was actually a decent guy who showed us the only travel agents in the station – yay for Malaysia and their friendliness! All of a sudden, I’m a fan of this place and its people.
We book a VIP coach to take us to KL for tomorrow. It’s a 5hr trek but its only costing around £6 and it leaves at a nice hour of 10am! Whoopwhoop! With that booked, we’re all sorted and start exploring the nearby shopping centre. Aaron is gagging on a hair cut – I dunno why, he has no hair!! But we go in and the place is HUGE! So many levels with all sorts of gubbins going on. Aaron gets his haircut – a nice salon job for £4 – I took a cheeky pic of him when he had a monk style hahaha – small things I know! The shops aren’t too pricey, so a few more souvenirs get bought – we even find a cheaper than cheap DVD shop where we buy a DVD for a £1!! I finally get to buy my travelling bracelet and anklet – it’s a must over here when you’re backpacking – even ol Richie Ra Ra has one!
The old town was more for the boys with its nautical schizz going on. They climb up a lighthouse and see the views of Georgetown and read all about ships n stuff. I aint too interested and am lagging from the searing heat! We glug a bottle of water in seconds and carry on walking around the city. It’s got a nice feel to it and no one is in your face trying to sell you stuff. I like! We get back to the guesthouse for a much needed shower and a wee afternoon kip.
Dinner is had over the road at another street vendor type thing. However, there’s no menu in English so we’re left pointing at random meat in metal containers hoping that they taste nice! Again, muchos cheapness in the food department we splash out on an iced coffee for dessert – again, no booze for us – detox time!
It’s an early nite due to getting up and out of here to walk to the bus station.

Hayley

Sun 22nd Feb - Malaysia baby!

ARGH! What a start to the day…….
We stop at Hat Yai and didn’t even know it until we look about and see everyone has left the carriage!! So we basically have woken up and within 2mins, we’re standing on the platform lugging our rucksacks around. Not good chat – we’re all in a complete daze and have no idea what to do next. Lack of sleep and not eaten since 7pm yesterday, we’re in no state to talk to each other, let alone think about getting to our next destination……
I remember Eve saying that they did buses from Hat Yai straight to Georgetown in Malaysia so we start to leave the station in search of a travel agent. Whey hey, as soon as we leave the station there’s one right in front of us. Not sure if these are rip off merchants or what, but with such little sleep I don’t give a hoot. Just get me on bus so I can kip!! After a misunderstanding between Dave and Aaron – they almost came to blows through not hearing each other – argh – the joys and stresses of tiredness combined with booking travel arrangements and grumpy hungry boys –raaaaaaa!!! CAN PEOPLE JUST GET ALONG?!?
Anyhoo, bus booked and we’ve got over an hour to kill. We all need some coffee and we need it NOW! We find this local place and the owner is falling over himself to serve us – bless him! We get the local Thai coffee, which is rocket fuel plus condensed milk! And he throws in some sweet pastry type buns as well – this is just what we need! Everyone is getting on now, thank god – if that was 2 chicks nipping at each other, they wouldn’t be speaking to each other for the rest of the trip!!
9am comes and we go back to the bus pick up point. It’s a wee minibus and god knows how they get all of our luggage on, but they do! There’s air con and we have good front row seats, which means leg room! Whoop Whoop!!
It’s a nice drive, there aren’t any crazy ass drivers about and we get dropped off at the Thai / Malaysia border to get our passports stamped and whatnot. All very easy and nowt like the faff with crossing into Vietnam!
We get into Georgetown just after 4pm and its……..raining! Haha! But its sooooooo humid – very random! The minibus drops us off in the middle of nowhere and we need to get our wits about us and try to figure out where Hutton Lane was. Hmmm….this is all very fun in the rain! Somehow we get there and the place is lovely! Hutton Lodge. Its all very clean and welcoming. As they follow Asian traditions, we need to take off our shoes when going upstairs.
Dave and I are in a room by ourselves but have to use the communal showers at the end of the block. Aaron is in a dorm with 3 others – Julia from Canada, Raj from Georgetown (don’t ask me why a local was in a guesthouse!) and Justin from London with one of those annoying accents, that goes up at the end of a sentence. However, he’s a Liverpool fan so we may let him off!!
Everyone chills out for a bit and head for a wee kip. Dave and I are first up and decide to head for some street meat. We’ve been told that the Tandoori is amazing so off we trot to find some of that. It’s really overcast and muggy as hell but on we trot regardless. We stumble across this street vendor and get sat down on a street table. The waiter speaks good English and tells us to go for the tandoori plate. It comes out 5 minutes later and is piping hot. We get a load of tandoori on this metal plate with dips and pitta bread – yummy!!
Aaron surfaces a wee bitty later and Dave takes him to the same street place for his fill of tandoori meat. We’re at a bit of loose end after tea, so we have 1 beer at the guesthouse (£1.60) which is pricey compared to the 80p we’ve been paying previously, and play some cards. Tiredness overtakes us all and we hit the sack at the grand time of 9pm! Haha!

Hayley

Sat 21st Feb - Burn, Burn, Burn

So today was the day to say bye to Eve n Rich and Silvery Moon. It was also the day we had to hike back up that hideous path / hill!! I wasn’t looking forward to that – so after breakfast we trudged up there with our massive packs on, stopping all the way up to the top. Man alive, I felt sick once I got up there due to sheer exhaustion!! Calves were wobbling all over the place – a la disco leg - and the heat was making me feel faint – I’m not even exaggerating!!
Once we had all recovered, we had to flag down a cab to take us to the ferry terminal. Haha, that was a laugh and a half….we ended up being piled into the BACK of this pickup truck type Yute thing - yes, we were practically hanging off the boot of this thing, clinging onto each other for dear life while the driver sped along the crazy ass roads of Koh PhaNgan. If anyone back home could’ve seen us, there’s no way they would’ve let us go on there!! But don’t worry parentals – we survived it!!
Once at the ferry terminal, we only had about a half hour to wait for our separate ferries – one to take us lot to Surithani and the other to take Eve n Rich to Koh Tao to do some diving and be beach bums again! Lucky devils – we had a long trip to get us to Malaysia…..grrrr……here we go again!
It was a fairly overcast day so we opted for bumming around on the deck of the ferry – try and catch some cloud rays! However, it wasn’t long before the sun was beaming down on us and we were gradually toasting away. I had my shades on and my army cap on (yeah I know, when am I out of it!? It’s a life saver I tell ye) so was fairly covered; however, after 3 hrs of being pelted with the sun rays I couldn’t take it anymore – even my arms were burning and that NEVER happens! So Dave and I ducked into the inside bit and got some refuge. We left the Aaron to feel the burn as he wanted to bronze up! Well, we were only inside for about 20mins and then we docked – raaaaaa!!!!
We docked and everyone scrambled off the ferry to the bus terminal, where 2 coaches and some harassed Thai bus drivers were waiting for us all. We kept getting conflicting information as to which damn coach we should get on, until we were practically yelling at the dude “Surithani TRAIN STATION – which BUS?” and we finally got on one…..but of course, there weren’t enough seats – bloody theme of the holiday as usual!! So poor Dave was on the floor next to me!
After 2 hours on a hot stuffy bus, we stopped for a toilet stop – I HATE PAYING TO USE THE DAMN SQUATTY LOOS!!!!!!!!!! What exactly am I paying for?! Huh, huh!?!? A hole in the damn ground?! I might as well pee around the back of the building and save my pennies – raaaa – rant over!! After freshening up, we all discovered the nick of our sunburn………OMG!!!!!!!!! From the top of my cheekbones down to the bottom of my chin was bright RED and both Dave and Aaron’s foreheads were a nice shade of beetroot……Ouch, this was going to hurt!
We eventually got to Surithani train station at 5pm ish – this was where we were going to have to blag our sob story and try sort out our train ticket debacle. Hmmm….no such luck. Dave did his best and told the dude all about my fake case of the runs –but to no avail – he was having none of it. So we had to pay for another sleeper ticket but it could only go to Hat Yai, not Butterworth which was where we wanted to go to. Argh, I hate all this damn faff. But Dave and Aaron were adamant it was going to be ok…..aye, we’ll see buddyboy.
The sleeper train didn’t leave until 1am so we had a nice 8hrs to kill in this obsolete town. Argh, this is going to drag. We managed to find an internet café and waste some time in there. At that point, my face was on fire and no matter how much water I threw at myself the throbbing beat of sunburn was not going away – boohoo to me!! For tea we had some street meal and some pancakes with choccie sauce – all for pennies! Going to miss Thailand and its cheapness for food n drink. Bring on Malaysia and its uber expensive alcohol – time for a dry week!
Time drags on and we get chatting to an English couple from near Heathrow about their holidays. They were nice and it helped pass the time on the train platform! 1 am comes around and soon enuff we’re on our sleeper train – surrounded by snoring Thai peeps!! We have to get off around 7am so not long to kip – nitey nite!!

Hayley

Tue 17th - Fri 20th Feb - Island Bliss!

Yay – the drugs worked and I’m feeling so much better on the Tuesday! So I decide to brave the beach – what a trek it is….5secs from my beach hut door – this is the life! Eve and I regularly spend most of the days at Silvery Moon lounging on the beach and rifling through lots of books and girlie mags! The boys are doing their best Bear Grylls and Survivor impressions by ‘hunting’ for coconuts and going on treks around the tiny resort. They also become some kind of lazy hibernating animals come afternoon time and they all skulk away to their hammocks – which are nicely hung on your beach hut veranda!!
Wednesday sees our first Tropical storm which was quite exciting…..we got to wear our waterproofs for the first time this holiday!! We woke up to the rain lashing down on our wee huts and had to sit outside undercover for breakfast, watching the grey clouds over the sea – argh – I want sun as I’m recovered from my cold!! Boo!! It doesn’t last long and before we know it, the sun is out shining again. The owners are busy prepping for our beach BBQ which we’re very excited about – there is a big ass fish on display and the seating area looks well funky on the beach. Beach mats and throw cushions splayed on the floor around little tables – I luv it!! We head for the BBQ at 7ish and meet some other holidaymakers – there’s a couple from Sweden - “Thelma and Jacob”, a Swiss woman who was very friendly but unfortunately I noticed her hairy armpits……so very European –ugh!!!, another Swiss dude and this American guy called Josh, who kept going into a weird Thai / American accent when speaking to the locals….all very random. The beer was flowing and the food was GORGEOUS –there was even potato salad – yay, some normal carbs! Haha!
As more beer flowed, the owners started to join in and before we knew it, they had bought out tequila.......oh no…….a few shots were downed and the games began! There were a fair few rounds of limbo (with a fire round included….the danger round!), then the boys were presented with a plate of flour….all very interesting…..they had to fish around for the Thai pennies which were hidden within the flour – haha! Eve and I definitely were right in staying out of that game – they were COVERED in flour which was so hilarious to watch!! Stamp on the balloon game was also played – not so good if you’re afraid of balloons – and then to top off the night, we end it with releasing a Lucky Lantern. We all had to write a message on this lantern and then we release it into the sky like a mini hot air balloon – a lot of the messages included thanks to our previous work for laying us off and giving us the chance to be beach bums in Thailand – haha!! Such a good night…..oh and we were allowed to stay up til after 1am that nite!!
As we wound down to our departure day, we noticed that our train tickets onward to Butterworth (Malaysia) were booked on the wrong day – argh!!! Dave had the unfortunate task of trying to rectify that but as always, was given the run around and getting told to go speak to so-and-so or turn up at the ferry on the day and ask about it. UGH! No one wants to take responsibility here!! RAGE!! We just decided to wing it on the day and make up a sob story about me (thanks) being struck down with the runs and not being able to make the train on that day….we’ll see if that works!!
We all had such a great time at Silvery Moon, the place was basic but beautiful, the food delicious and it was such a shame to say bye to Eve and Richard. No more girlie chats until I hit Perth, Oz. UGH!! Back to smelly boy chat again…..

Hayley

Mon 16th Feb - a summer cold!

Ugh – I wake up having had no sleep whatsoever….this fecking cold is not amusing me….Dave gets up and I try to get some more shuteye. Its so weird having a cold and being all snivelling when its roasting outside! I eventually meet the troops around 1ish and we all start thinking about having an exploration to Hadrin – the resort 40mins away. I’m dying on some ibuprofen so am defo up for this trek! It cant be that bad walking along the beach in the sun!
Wow, the heat is pretty darn intense and it’s a fair hike on the beach to Hadrin. We’re all sweating buckets when we get there and gasping on a drink! We must look so damn attractive when we stagger into the nearest supermarket – the plight of us all! We have a mooch about the town and it seems to be fairly happening with a few pubs, nice wee shops and plenty of chemists – yay – give me some cold relief please!! I end up buying some random 400g ibuprofen – for about 40p!!! should do the job – you so wouldn’t get that at home! After we surf the net and buy some supplies, we head back to our wee beach huts. We stop along the way at a nice beach front bar and enjoy some happy hour drinks – always a winner with us! We’re enjoying it there a little too much and have to remind ourselves to make it back in time before it gets dark – the walk over the rocks is a bit dodgy in the daylight, never mind in the dark!
Again, another chilled nite playing cards and getting told to go to bed at 12! Haha

Hayley

Sun 15th Feb - Another Island

It’s a fairly early start to the day to pack all our schizzle up and check out of Best Beach Bungalows. We all rendezvous for breakfast and everyone is looking forward to our beach huts in Ko Phanagn. Before we head off to the ferry, Eve n I make a dash to the bikini shop to see if my masterpiece has been made! It has and……..it FITS! Hurrah!! She did a really good job and I pay her quickly to stop her going on about BIG material for my BIG ass!
Back at the bungalows, the boys are trying to figure out the cheapest way to get to the ferry port. Luckily, the German owner is around and says he will give us a run down but says a pretty steep price – I play the old ‘oi, we’ve drank loads of your beer and eaten loads of your food for the past 4 days’ line which he thinks about and then agrees to take us down to the ferry for cheaper price – great success!! We get our rucksacks on – OWWWWWWWWW – rucksacks and sunburn is soooo not good – and jump into the German’s 4x4 pick up truck. Aaron and Richard are in the back with the bags – haha – hold onto your hats!!!
Once at the ferry port, we see all the revellers come from Koh Phanagn back to Koh Samui – man alive, they all look rough….must’ve been a crazy full moon party….3days ago. Also, the amount of blokes hobbling around on crutches and donning legs of plaster is a tad worrying – no mopeds for us! Once we cross the rickety pier onto the ferry, it’s a pleasant 1 hr boat ride to Koh Phanagn….but oh no, I feel a cold coming on….can’t stop sneezing and have a runny nose – what is that all about!?
Once at Koh Phanagn, we go through the palaver of trying to find a cheap taxi. We all get piled into a minibus, sweating our asses off and notice that our rucksacks are being tied to the roof – eeeeeeeeek – it doesn’t help that the roads are all on crazy hills that are like fairground rides! We get dropped off at Silvery Moon Bungalows at the side of the road and we follow the signs to our accommodation………..
Right, well that was fun…….the walk down to the bungalows was a dodgy, steep as hell path – not looking forward to walking back up there with the rucksack – argh! We arrive and the setting is gorgeous. There are little beach huts all dotted around and the beach is right THERE! We get checked in and find out that the nearest resort is a 40min walk away – haha – but all is not lost. The people here run a Honesty Tab book so whatever you take from the fridge – be it beers or food – you simply write it in your wee room book and pay every 2days – sweeeeeeeet!!! Beers were around £1.50 for a huge bottle and the food was cheap as well.
Dave and I head to our room, where you have to cross The River of Death….Eve nicknamed it that as you have to walk across a gang-plank which is over a murky river full of bugs and the unknown!! Haha – lets hope we don’t end up falling in that! The room is lovely and has a huge mozzie net over the bed. The ensuite is a wet room which has been attached to our room – so it feels like you’re showering outside!!! The toilet looks like it’s built for midgets and has no flush – you have to scoop water out of this massive tank and flush it down like that – this should be a hoot!!
We all get settled in and have a wee sun bathe on our own idyllic beach – it’s gorgeous with loads of palm trees on it and no one around! Dave and Aaron want to be Bear Grylls, so off they trot to find some coconuts to eat.
This place is quite basic, but so quaint and we have it practically to ourselves! We all gorge ourselves on Thai curry and play poker until midnight…..cos that’s when the owners tell us to go to bed!! Apparently, they like people to either go out partying and come back in the wee small hours or…..go to bed when they do at midnight! Haha - nitey nite then!

Hayley

Sat 14th Feb - Lots of Material

Another lazy beach bum day – this is the life!!! Haven’t felt heat like this EVER – its proper toasty so the factor 50 is being applied. Eve n I spend practically all day in the sea as we just can’t cool down – silly mistake……will be paying for that later methinks!
Up and down Chaweng Beach are these little places where they do Thai massages, pedicures, manicures etc. Prices start from like £3 so Eve n I decide to leave the boys to play Frisbee and go be girlie for the afternoon! She gets a Thai massage and I decide to treat my feet – mainly because the insect repellent and weeks in sandals have played havoc on my nail varnish leaving them all chipped and very poorly maintained!!! I get my tootsies seen to for almost an hour, while Eve is getting a very relaxing massage. We both feel fab and head back to the bungalows to chill before dinner.
OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m in so much pain!! Stupid me, spending all frigging day in the sea has made me burn my shoulders and chest – raaaaaaa – I now look like I’ve got a white halter neck on PERMAMENTLY!! Damn my white bits!!!!! This is going to hurt in the morning when we have to carry out rucksacks to Koh Phanagn.
Our last meal is another Thai affair and we dabble in red and green curry. Yum yum!! Eve and I decide to have a gander at the wee clothes shops – much to Dave’s hatred – and we come across this wee shop that does MADE TO MEASURE bikinis! How cool is that?! Eve tries one on and it’s a snip around £6. The lady starts talking to me when Eve is trying hers on and starts saying that I could get one made to fit me – seeing as they only make size Thai – which is fecking tiny!!!! I start to ponder about this – a made to measure bikini –and it costs 500 baht - £10 – wow!! That’s cheaper than New look at home….hmmm…will Dave budge on this?! Doubt it, but I will ask. She shows me some designs and says that it would be made overnight and I can pick it up before I leave tomorrow. I tell her I’ll ask permission from the man and come back later…..
Man alive, did I have to beg for that bloody bikini or what?! Dave is such a scrooge but with a little help from my friends, he handed over the money and told me try to barter her down J happy hayley! Eve n I go back there and get her down to 450 baht – nae bad - £9 now! She kept going on about that she would need BIG material, because she is BIG – ok luv shut up now!!! I got made to try on some styles to give her an idea of size – hmmm….no measuring tape though……and again, she kept saying to Eve ‘BIG material for her, BIG girl’ and making actions toward the boobage and bum area - argh I KNOW ALREADY!!!
I had to laugh in the end as the woman seemed to be quite chuffed she was making a big bosomed bikini for me – still, stop with the BIGNESS!! I choose a black bikini with cherries on as the design and away we go – if it doesn’t fit tomoz, I don’t pay anything – whoopwhoop!!
We get back to the boys and relay the BIG material story L much to their amusement!! It’s a fairly early nite as we need to get the ferry in the morning. Bye bye Samui, hello Koh Phanagn.

Hayley

Fri 13th Feb - Unlucky Stabby Things

Well, who here believes in Friday the 13th????? A few of us do now - especially Dave!!!! Poor Davey boy. I start to feel like I’m going to vomit after visiting the supermarket for some fake sprite to help with the hangover – ugh not good in this heat! Then we all meet up for a nice leisurely breakfast, sorry, brunch and head to the beach.
It’s proper baking yet again, so we’re in and out of the water trying to cool down. The next thing I know is Dave is hopping out of the water and grimacing away. Turns out he stood on some crazy sea urchin type thing and has 3 needles/spikes coming out of his heel – eeeeeeeek!!! We try not to panic and hope he doesn’t have an allergic reaction or anything…..all is looking ok when the first aid kit comes out and he manages to pull out the huge spike. I run off and get some antihistamines and try soothing noises to help!! He keeps an eye on the foot during the day and there’s no swelling or anything untoward – so a lucky escape really. We spy another 2 lads hopping out of the sea and they end up the same – just keep it clean and put some cream on it.
Eve has managed to recover from the evil Chang hangover and makes it to the beach as well – yay!! We fill her in on details of last nite and all have a giggle at the plight of us all. We head for dinner at a nice Thai restaurant which is showing a knock off DVD of ‘Marley and Me’ – man, how sad is that film?! And I only followed it with subtitles on – dying dogs set me off
Fairly tame night with everyone behaving / too scared to be ill the next day with a hangover!

Hayley

Thur 12th Feb - Beach Babies

We discover that Eve n Rich are early birds – haha – and we end up heading for brekkie around 11am – still cant get over eating in this place for around a quid – its awesome!! Decked out with our towels and beach mats – well done Aaron for his bartering skills there – we try and find a decent spot to tan our asses off!!
The place is heaving and is also rife with jetskis – always fancied a go on them but the German dude we befriended yesterday started telling us horror stories bout the folks who run it…..apparently, they send you out there and when you come back they say ‘oh look, you’ve made a scratch on the jetski’ and you go ‘no I didn’t – that was there already’ and they say ‘yeah you did, pay us 5000baht’ and then you say ‘call the police’. The tourist police – aye whatevs – turn up and they basically become a negotiator and bring the price down a tad for you – which you’re grateful for – but still have to pay. Hmmmm – think I’ll pass on that scenario, thanks very much.
Anyways, its proper baking and all we have to worry about is when to eat next and if to get an ice-cream! We get annoyed quite a bit by all the beach sellers – they’re hundreds of them – worse than holidays in Spain! But you get used to zoning them out.
Tea time is a disappointment – we all starved ourselves in preparation for a big ass curry set meal affair. We turn up and start salivating, awaiting our first course…..hmmmm…..we get 4 tiny chunks of tandoori chicken – TO SHARE between 2 for a starter!!! Eh!? Ok, not to worry, what about the mains……well, me n dave fancied a hot vindaloo – FAILED!!! It wasn’t even as hot as a korma!!!!! So so pants for an Indian meal. To help with this disappointment we get some cheap vodka, gin and rum and decide to have another poker contest – with the added element of getting rather tipsy!!
We’re all hammered by the end of it – a chair is broken – not anyone’s fault or fighting – they’re just crappy plastic garden furniture. Aaron’s hose in the bathroom comes off the wall and soaks him – we can’t stop laughing – a TOP NIGHT all round really!!!

Hayley

Wed 11th Feb - Ko Samui

Ugh, what a start to the day….we get to Surat Thani at around 7am and everyone is grumpy as hell…doesn’t help that Aaron is also suffering with a bit of hangover. He actually spews his ring when we’re trying to organise a bus to get to the ferry, to then get us to Samui – poor bloke- I had to laugh when a tout was trying to sell him a ticket whilst he was upchucking – wahaha!
We manage to sort out the transport arrangement and get aboard this hot stuffy coach – air con my ass – and off we go to the port. It takes just over 2 hours to get to the port and then just over an hour on the big ass ferry to Samui – whooohooo – I spy beaches ahead J and it’s so darn toasty!! Bring on the tan J Once we get to Samui, we get the usual taxi dudes trying to rip us off – I aint having any of it, so tell the boys to follow this guy into a larger than life tuktuk-cum-pick up truck! We strike lucky as we start chatting to this guy on the tuk tuk, who is off to the same resort - Chaweng Beach – and has been for 20 odd years. The guy is German and speaks good English – starts slating off the other German tourists and says that we should go to the same beach bungalows as him – fair play!! It’s all working out great this winging it business!!
We get off 40 mins later and we’re pretty windswept!! We hike through the town and I’m getting a distinct feel of Tenerife…..call me mad but its proper heaving with tourists and nicknacky shops trying to sell you tourist tat – its all a bit beach bum abroad…..but no, concentrate on being in THAILAND and the amazing beaches to come!!! We speak to the owners of Best Beach Bungalows and manage to get 3 rooms for us all for around a £10 a night – bit steep compared to what we’re used to but its 5secs to the beach – whoopwhoop!!!
Our room is a wee wooden box with a bathroom (really a wet room) and a fan – it’ll do for 4 days – as long as I get my beach time!!! I have a nosey on the beach awaiting idyllic scenes – argh………Tenerife again!!! The sand and sea look gorgeous, to be fair, but its absolutely CHOCCA!! Where are we going to sit?! Hmmmm……don’t be fooled by the brochures people!!! We run and get changed into our cossies and hit the beach and await Eve n Richard’s arrival J I’m sooooo excited J
They arrive after 7pm and it’s all great banter!!! We’re desperate to tell the others what we’ve been up to and vice versa with them!! I’m uber jealous of their tans…..raaaaa….but they’ve been beach bums for the past fortnight – so its allowed!!! We get cheap food at our place and have a wee wander through the town to scan the nightlife – oh here we go again, lady bars agogo!! We don’t go into any this time but do head towards the beach….this is where it really comes into its own. Forget Ibiza and its Café del Mar – the beach is too damn cool for school!! The whole place is decked out with funky low tables and throw cushions, with Hed Kandi tunes in the background.
We get bugged by wee kids trying to sell us stuff, but they’re so damn cute that we give them 20p for a necklace and the boys end up trying to beat them at Connect 4 – they lose everytime haha!! Aaron get his pic taken with a weird monkey thing and I get a massive snake around my neck – its so freaking bizarre this place! Oh and you can send up paper lanterns into the sky and make a wish…..okdokey!!!
The 5 of us end up gas-bagging for ages and head back to play some rounds of poker and then hit the sack at some point!!

Hayley

Tues 10th Feb - Thailand Again

FFS – why do I do it?! I’m hungover to hell and have to repack my sodding rucksack first thing in the morning and in the dark, so as not to wake up everyone in the room!!! I apparently attempted to pack late last nite – although when I woke up this morning and discovered my rucksack, I had to redo it all over again – what a mess I must’ve been in……please, no more alcohol – its just tooooooo bad for you. I’m constantly running back n forth to the bog, trying to be sick but failing miserably. I have Aaron – who is still pissed – trying to yatter on to me – SHUT UP!!!!!!!! I WILL VOMIT ON YOU IF YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME!!!!!!!!! I think he got the message…..
We check out and I manage to hold down a sprite – thank you god for the invention of cold, fizzy lemonade…..then its all good once I can manage a roll! Yay! I’m cured – however, the now hungover Aaron is suffering big stylie – hahaha – bring on the suffering assface!!!! He made my life hell this morn, revenge is sweet J
A taxi is called and we clamber into it around 10am and head to Hanoi airport. We need to get our flight back to Bangkok at 12.50, so there’s plenty of time. Airport is mobbed and no decent information on the telly screens, so we wing it and just pile on up to an Air Asia desk. Great Success, the desk opens in 5mins! Whoopwhoop = unfortunately, when we check in, they’re only allowing 15kgs per bag – wtF?! I’ve somehow gone up to blimming 19kg – even though I’ve not bought anything……..raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……………poor old dave goes off to pay the fees and away we go through to immigration. No dramas and we all get onto the Air Asia flight fine.
It’s a gorge new plane with hardly anyone on it!!! Why the hell did they have to charge us for excess baggage?! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa again….ugh anyways, I’m almost nearing my beach holiday time, so I keep the Hayley Rage inside……not long til we meet up with Eve n Richard - yay!! Canny wait for girlie chats J
Flight is 2.5hrs long and we chill out at Bangkok airport for a few hours as we have time to kill before the sleeper train at 7.30pm tonight. We scoff a nice chinese type lunchy thing and grab a taxi to Huamphalong train station. It’s a nice hot n muggy 30 odd degree heat – ugh – I hate Bangkok – especially as it’s rip off central…..however, we have our wits about us this time and no fecker is gonna rip us off J we get to the station and some ‘tour guide helper’ wants to help us with the trains – JOG ON WOMAN – we have our tickets and yes, we already have accommodation – beat it!!!! Sorry, but I hate this place and their rip off merchants!
Few hours in the station flies by and off we pop to the sleeper train. I’m half expecting the sleeper to be a wee bitty better than the vietnam sleepers but I’m disappointed….no separate cabin for you, just a mass of people all in the one carriage and a wee curtain that separates your bunk to the outside world….ugh…however, dave thinks its wicked – aye whatevs.
We get chatting to this american lass called Karla, who is sleeping in the bunk beneath Aaron and she is off to Koh Tao before heading to samui and then PhaNagan. She’s dead nice and ends up getting ratarsed with dave n aaron – I’m still hungover so decide to behave and keep a sober head on it all. Especially as we have to get up at 6am – ugh – they end up drinking to all hours and get told to go to bed. The waitress lady befriends us but then ends up ripping us off with the beers – as always – raaaaaaaaa!!!
I head to bed at midnite but them lot are still drinking…

Hayley

Mon 9th Feb - Snake Village

Funny start to the day – take my malaria tablet on an empty stomach and almost end up heaving – ugh – not good chat. Had to keep running outside to have a sit down and some fresh air. Unfortunately, my peace was broken by two old american gimps = one of which was telling a rather interesting story about a mate who divorced his wife. He then asked his wife, ‘what do you want in the settlement? Tv etc?’ and she starts to point stuff out, the crazy dude then raises his shotgun and starts firing at all the stuff the wife points out – mental eh?! Funny story tho…..
Anyhoo, stomachs are settled and we hang around for the snake village tour which starts at 2pm. The dude from the hostel chucks us in a taxi – there’s 6 of us in the cab and some poor dude has to go on a moped there!
WELL……that was the most exciting taxi ride EVER!!! After having said ‘hmmmm aint seen many accidents around here’ we end up experiencing 2!!!!!!! The taxi bashes into a moped who aint looking, he topples over a bit but is ok. Then the taxi clips this woman’s shoulder with his wingmirror, which then smashes!! Wtf?! Mental times!! The guys in the taxi are 3 irish lads from Dublin – funny lot – 2 had a nite out in edinburgh with one of them going back to livi with some chicks – hahahah – dirty boy!! They’re good craic – Ritchie, Shane and Steven – boyzone practically! The dude who was on the moped was a german lad called Dan.
We gets to Snake village and it’s a bit of letdown……….you go into someone’s front room practically, where this young lad takes out 2 snakes – annoys them for a bit so they get riled up and then become all cobra head esque – shit me right up!! Hello, they can pounce you know?! After that, we cross the road to this place which is all kitted out like an outdoor restaurant. We then get told we’re gonna see some snakes getting butchered in front of us, then we get to drink the vodka and snake’s beating heart and then vodka with snake bile – aaaaaaaaarghhhhhh!!!!
Well, needless to say, its rank!!! Seeing the snakes get sliced open and them draining them of blood and bile – bleurgh! I’m the only chick there so cant be too girlie – aye right!! However, I was man enuff to down the voddie with the snakes heart - dave never did – haha loser!! We get presented with a snake buffet…….interesting I hear you say……well, they basically cook all the snake and present it to us in all manner of ways!!! We had snake deep fried, snake skin, snake ribs, snake wine…….an endless bottomless pit of snake wine – which was rank and you HAD to do it in shots – OMG it was vile…….we went through about 3 bottles of the shite and some of us cant remember leaving 3hours later……
Its proper banter with the irish lads and they’re pretty much doing the same route as us down to NZ – random! We have a laff with the wee local kids, whilst waiting for our taxi and all I can say is, thank god for the photos………as my head goes very fuzzy at this point!!!

Hayley

Sun 8th Feb - Halong Bay

So, we get up at 6ish and we all have to get ready in the pitch black, without waking up the rest of the dorm. Blimming impossible!! Haha! Anyhoo, we manage it and Aaron is feeling ruff as a badger…. Surprisingly! He says he met up with a couple from south shields on his way home last nite – must’ve just spoke to anyone who passed him! Random boy he is! Brekkie is free and we have a big roll and some crazy ass jam – like a mixture between strawberries and bananas!
We get picked up by a mini bus – looks nice n comfy – nuh huh, until we discover that its made for Asian people!!! There is absolutely no leg room and we all end up with bruises on our knees after the 3 hour journey….not good chat!
Once we get to Halong Bay, we get dumped with the 1day tour guide – Mr Choo – or summat like that. OMG – this guy is summat else!!! He obviously learned English from a German, as he spoke with a German / Vietnamese accent!!! Soooooooo random – ‘zee boat is here, if you all would like to come zeez way please’ – haha – and he had this mole on his chin, with 4 MASSIVELY long hairs coming out of it………….moley moley!!! We cant concentrate on anything else once we had spotted that – deary me – this was going to be fun!!
The boat is a nice old style wooden affair and we go upstairs to sit outside for a bit. Its overcast and a bit a chilly – for once – so don’t stay up there for too long. Oh and when the captain is trying to steer out of the uber busy harbour, he honks the 4 horns LOADS!!!! He deafened me!!!
We sit downstairs at our table of 5 and we get spoiled with a seafood buffet! Wow – well impressed. We get squid, prawns, rice, tofu, a whole fish of some kind – the whole thing is dishlicious! After that, the boat takes us along to a floating village. We think it’s the same one as where Top Gear went, but cant be sure. Its crazy how all these people live on these floating villages forever!! I’d go stir crazy!
On the boat is a good ol mixture of peeps – there’s an older couple from NZ – she’s a kiwi and her hubby is scandinavian. A lone German on his own – he was funny. An older woman from Oz and this youngish guy, who’s a brit but works in Shanghai for Tomkins. Bit of a toff but he likes our chat! We get to this point where the boat stops and we get a chance to go kayaking – wicked fun!!!! Was a bit nervous beforehand, but loved it and me n dave were fairly good!!! Was knackering stuff but we got half an hour to go exploring!!! No one falls in which is a great success and we get back onto our boat.
We then get taken to these random caves, where german vietnamese dude takes us for wander through the caves. They are very spectacular and impressive, although Mr Choo is adamant on showing us all these ‘dodgy’ rock formations………..seriously…….there’s a huge rock which looks like a big boob and the guy pees himself laffing! It ends up being contagious, as we’re all laffing as this tour guide laffing – what a hoot – I’ve got tears running down my face! He also points out this tiny rock which kinda looks like a couple – however, german vietnam tour guide dude starts asking for our interpretation. I’m being reserved and say ‘oh it looks like they’re holding hands….’ And he goes ‘pah’ hahaha and then asks the rest of the group who are all being nice and not being rude by going ‘oh it looks like he’s being wanked off’ – which is basically what he wanted us to say – how uncouth?!? He chuckles away to himself and we continue onwards up and through the funky caves.
Once out of there, we return to our boat – there isnt one hint of health and safety in this place, we basically have to go down some very steep rocky steps and over a rickety gangplank, but its all good and we survive! It’s an enjoyable hour back to the harbour and we’re all getting all great – mainly cos everyone is laffing their asses off at Aaron and his crazy Serbian ski holiday shenanigans!
Once we get off the boat, its time for Mr choo to find us our bus….hmmm….this takes a wee bit of time and we get shuffled onto another minibus – luckily, we’ve used our noggins and ran for the front of the queue and got a decent seat with legroom this time J however, there was a downside……there seems to be this godgiven right to every male in the population of Vietnam, allowing them to hock up every 5 frigging seconds!!!! Its totally disgusting and make me want to gag. Luckily for me, the fecking driver is doing this the whole way back….that’s 3hours!!!! Raaaaaaaaa – I plug in the mp3 player and listen to some loud ass tunes!
We get back to the hostel for around 8pm and we decide we’re in need of some proper western food that we can eat with cutlery, instead of chopsticks! We hunt around for a bit and end up in the uber expensive place – it isnt really – you’re getting a steak for bout £6 which is awesome, but expensive is ‘Nam! Dinner is yum and we go to Finnegans for 1 – too stuffed to drink and knackered! We head to hostel and book SNAKE VILLAGE for tomoz – eeeeeeeeek – how exciting!

Hayley

Sat 7th Feb - Hanoi

Train is fine and we all manage to get a fair sleep on the train. One of the guards decide to get friendly with us and plonks himself beside Aaron……….and plants his hand on Aaron’s knee……….ahahahahaha!!! What is with that?! Aaron has become the number 1 Gay Icon in Southeast Asia – its hilarious!!! So, we try and talk to this geezer for an uncomfortable 10 minutes or so and eventually he bogs off to do some work!
We get to Hanoi around 5pm ish and what happens when we get off the train? An overly nice taxi man comes over to us, offering to take us to our accommodation….aye right….taxi drivers sit at the entrance to train stations and wait for YOU to come to them!! Not the other way around – this is a scam in Hanoi where you go in one of these taxis and they then take you to their accomodation, saying you’re hostel is fully booked or summat. Well, egg on his face as we walk away and find a proper taxi.
Well, that was a hoot and a half. We all pile into this taxi and the poor bloke hasn’t got a clue where he’s taking us! We tell him the cathedral, we show him on the map, but to no avail!!!! He ends up stopping 5 people asking them for directions!! Luckily, the taxi is pennies, but FFS!!
We get to the Hanoi Hostel and its heaving with backpackers J yay, at last! Our shared dorm is called Swingers – haha – and we go up to drop our stuff off and have a shower at last. I’m on the top bunk, above Aaron – ear plugs at the ready!! End up talking to this ozzie couple – Jacob and Kate – who have just arrived as well. They’re from Brisbane and they head down to the bar, closely followed by Aaron. We get down there and enjoy the cheapy beers in the hostel bar – thing is, it shuts at 9.30pm – booo!! Jacob and Kate are only on a 3wk holiday and have just finished doing Laos – sounds wicked fun and want to go there next year J They book the day trip to Halong bay for tomoz, which sounds like a fun idea so we do too!!!
We all head out for dinner and end up at this wee local roadside place and eat some yummy noodle soup type thing! Its only 50p, with the beers a quid – whoohoo!! Its stuffs us all up and we wander around looking for a bar. We find a posh looking place and Kate n I have a wee sangria – yay!! Again, for double price of beers but I’m sick of beer! We get told about this irish pub – Finnegans – so we HAVE to go visit it – plus the footie is on too.
Its about a 10 min walk and the roads are still crazy at 11pm at night, just like they are during the day! we only have 1 in there as we have to get up super early tomoz for Halong bay – Aaron decides he wants to see if Hull beat Chelsea, so we leave him to it! Wonder if he will make it back in 1 piece!!!

Hayley

Fri 6th Feb - A Busy Day

So, today’s the day we check out but our sleeper train to Hanoi aint until 9.30 so we have some time to kill. I have a dodgy stomach, which is due to the real ale – bleurgh – and am a tad grumpy this morning. To top it all off, we end up having noodles for brekkie – not what I had in mind!!
As we’ve got some time to kill, we’re thinking of heading through to Hoi Ann for the day. We don’t want to get scammed by a moped driver or taxi, so we decide to head for the local bus station. Must be one of them round here being the 4th largest city and all…..hmmm…..we go to the first hotel we see to ask for a map or if the woman can direct us to the bus station. She says ‘oh errrr, I forget where the bus station is, but if you wait a while our tourist booking agency will help you with your trip’. Aye right, good one….
Off we trot to the tourist information centre – of course they’ll know……….haha – not so much either!!!!! They all look blank and give us a map , which is about as useful as a chocolate fireguard….hayley grumpiness starts to intensify and we just wander around aimlessly hoping to catch glimpse of a local bus. At last, we do!!! It looks like an old American school bus, yellow with all the windows open! We hop on………while the bus is moving! Poor Dave had to run alongside it for a bit – mentalists they are!! And once again, we’re the only westerners on this bus! Everyone stares for a bit but they get bored and we spend a bumpy 40 minute ride to Hoi Ann.
I’m sure we’ve been ripped off on the bus – it only costs about £2 but still….when the guy was taking money off a local, he blantantly stood in front of me so I couldn’t see what the local was handing over!! I’m getting really annoyed with everyone just wanting to take us all for a ride. We don’t rip the tourists off at home – I mean, yeah the castle is expensive, but if I wanted to go up there and wander around I PAY THE SAME RATE AS THE TOURISTS!!!!!!!!! RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!! I express this opinion to the boys and Dave keeps quiet while Aaron goes on about how they don’t earn as much as we do back home. I know that!!! But why do the locals pay one price and the tourists pay another? We could be skint – in fact we are! We’re fecking jobless!!! I’m already in a mood due to stomach ache and to top it all off, the winning phrase that makes my day ‘aww Hayley, cheer up will ya. Go on and give us a smile’
So off the bus and we go for a wee 20 min walk to the old town of Hoi Ann. This place is wicked – every shop is a clothes shop with made to measure adverts. I sooooooo want to spend all my money here – unfortunately, I’m with ‘Mr We Spend No Money on Holiday’ L raaaaa – its nice to walk around and at last, we see some tourists! This is where they’ve all been hiding!! We have a few drinks at this nice bar place and I get to have my first glass of wine since we left!!! Aw man, its soooooo good!! Double the price of the boy’s beers, but hey ho, I deserve it. We stop there to eat and get annoyed by loud americans and loud french people behind us. They’re always there!!
We get the bus back at 6pm, which is another hairy ride back to the centre of town in the dark!!! Luckily, our bags are still at the hotel and we sit and chill for an hour or so until we get a cab to the train station. Train arrives at 9.40pm and we know the score with the sleeper trains now – we’re pros!! We walk miles to our carriage and find that the blooming guards have been sleeping in our compartment! Pah, the cheek!! It’s all good, as we end up having the carriage to ourselves. Again, poker is played and the boys drink the minging Hanoi Vodka, which tastes like it’s mixed with petrol – ugh! We hit the sack around 1ish.

Hayley

Thurs 5th Feb - Beach Day!!

Best day so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hayley gets a beach day – yay!!! I’m so darn happy about this and I look out the window and its frigging cloudy – raaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! Mr optimistic, Aaron, says that it’ll brighten up later and not to worry J hmmm ok then. We skip breakfast and grab a taxi.
O….M….G…..this beach is MASSIVE!! And deserted – whoohooo!!! Me so pleased as well as the sun decides to come out as soon as we arrive. We find some random sunbeds and umbrellas and plonk ourselves there. The lifeguard dude comes over and explains that its part of a resort so its $5 each for the day, but we get to use their pool if we want and the facilities – I’m in! I just want to start baking asap!! So, we pay up and I soak up the rays! The boys go off in search of a pole for Aaron to put his hammock up. They’re gone blimming ages but come back successful. Its hilarious watching him try to dig a hole big enuff with a tiny shell – LMAO – the lifeguard must feel that this is agony to watch as he heads over with a shovel! Haha – what a hoot! Eventually, the pole goes in and Aaron starts to tie the hammock up – all this time I’m praying that it goes horribly wrong – I know I’m mean, but he’s been going on and on about lying in a hammock and it would be soooooooo funny for him to snap it or summat!! Wahaha!
Well, he only went and bloody did it!!! Hammock put up and it held his weight, and it didn’t slide down the pole – smug aaron time!! We’re all starving and so head to the poolside bar for something to eat – WOW!! This place is AWESOME!!! The pool has that overlapping edge thing going on and loads of sunbeds around it……..with no one there! ITS DESERTED!!! The barmaid comes running over to serve us and is probably thankful for someone to talk to! We order 3 hotdogs – tad expensive for a hotdog but I don’t care – this place is wicked and its all to ourselves J
Funniest thing is when the food gets delivered……….I spy two chef type peeps coming through the grounds of this resort carrying above their heads, 2 big trays with dome covers on them. HAHA – this is like serving royalty!!!!! AMAZING!!!! And its all for us!!! Hotdogs are the poshest ones I’ve ever eaten and taste like a proper sausage, we have victorinox cutlery – which the boys tell me is the dogs bollocks in cutlery land – and still no other tourists are to be seen. WICKED!!!!
We play about in the pool – during which time the lifeguard has been over to give us new towels and lay them on the sunbeds for us – hahahaha!!!! I cant get over this and want to stay here forever!! We eventually head for a taxi after 4pm – the original dude said he would pick us up – but no sign of the fecker – so we flag someone else anyways. He has really good English and tells us a few places to go and visit – but we only really have tomorrow to do stuff and its back on the ol sleeper train. He points out a czech beer pub place so we aim to head there after dinner.
Dinner was fun – ended up at this semi ok looking place, full of locals – once again, no signs of tourists anywhere – and we order seafood noodles…eventually as the waitresses cant speak English and there are no English menus….. I was a bit skeptical as I could see cages of pigeon at the back of the restaurant and there were stray cats wandering around – but again, appearances can be deceiving and it turns out to be one of the best dinners we have! Yay!
We have a pint of real ale – light for me – ugh, that was difficult to drink. Bleurgh….and again, the place empties just after 9.30 – what is going on?! Basically, Danang closes after 9.30pm and becomes a ghost town! Oh well, at least we have fairly early nites and are being good to our livers!!

Hayley

Wed 4th Feb - Da Nang

Well, I woke up at 10ish so I must’ve slept a bit!! Wasn’t too bad actually but thank god for the ear plugs – the train was pretty rattly and liked to blow its horn….ALOT….the boys get breakfast from the train guards – rice n meat – I opt for our bar snacks we bought!
Eventually we get to Danang just after 1.30pm and again, it’s the same palaver with every taxi driver and his mate trying to get you into their cab. Raaaaaaa!!! We have an idea of where to go and try find a hotel room so off we trot. We get dropped off and the first hostel we try doesn’t open until 7pm – hmmm – wtf?! That’s crap!! So we carry on regardless, looking like right tourists and smelling great!! Haha – we aim for this massive hotel on the river front – thinking we maybe able to barter them down but we get stopped by a moped driver. He says he’ll walk us to a good hotel – however, they didn’t have any rooms when we turned up so he walked us to another one. I’m thinking the worst, as always (it’s all Bangkok’s fault – turning me into a questioning, paranoid freak, expecting everyone to rip you off). However, I am proved soooooo wrong!
We get to the D’An Hotel and we manage to get a shared room with 3 double beds for $10 a nite each! Sweeeeeet!!! The room is huge, has a balcony and massive bathroom with air con and a TV – yaaaaaas!!! Great success!!! It’s so good to get showered and out of the stinking clothes we slept in J
It’s tea time and we’re all starving so we go off exploring the city. End up at this nice open fronted restaurant and I have Lucky Noodles – its sooooo cheap – bout 50p or summat and really yum! After that, more walking around and we start to realise that we aint seen another tourist / westerner yet…..hmmm…interesting….and the further we walk, the more times we get waved at by kids and people smiling and saying hello – how random!! I love it and feel like a celeb – whoopwhoop!!
We walk through this random park place with a dragon made up on crockery – interesting……and start thinking that we should aim for a pub. On they way, I do an excellent impression of superman and go FLYING from tripping up over a wonky pavement slab – OMG – scared the bejesus out of me but luckily, didn’t land on my face and recovered well….really worried me that I could’ve landed FLAT on my face as I didn’t even put my hands out! What a chopper!!
It’s now been 2hrs since we ate and we have to come to the conclusion that there are NO pubs around! This is mental!!! We then stumble across this funky looking place with BANGING tunes coming from inside – whooohooo – a clubby pub – lets go in! We sit down, the place is soooooooo loud with proper ravey tunes and there’s big screens showing a knock off copy of Twilight – random – we scan the menu:

COFFEE
TEAS
SMOOTHIES
YOGHURT DRINKS
ENERGY DRINKS

Hmmm….no sign of alcohol…..so Aaron waves over the waiter and asks what alcohol they have. He flicks to the bottom of the last page and it says “Heineken – can” HAHAHAHAHA – that’s it!!! What is with this place?! There’s a video of the DJ spinning the decks and it totally feels like a pre pub club place….it’s crazy!! Well anyways, we clear them out of heineken pretty much and the place is mobbed of Vietnamese students!! But they’re all sitting there with loads of coffee on the table and just watching the dvd – weird! No one is talking to each other or really tapping their feet to the banging tunes – this is the most random place ever! And to top it all….it closed at 9.30!!!! hahaha!!! We head back to the hotel laffing our asses off and have a few in the room to compensate for the non pub action!

Tues 3rd Feb - Choo Choo

Ugh- those drunken boys!!! I went home early – bout 11 ish last nite to pack and be all prepped for checking out so was in bed at a decent hour of just around 1am….also thinking ‘hmmm they wont stay out THAT late’…..4am I gets woken up at – HAYLEY RAGE!!! I was actually worried about them and was waking up every hour until they knocked the door down. Apparently on the way back to the guesthouse, they were accosted by millions of wee kiddies…..they swarmed Aaron and so Dave was taking pics of the whole fiasco – turns out the wee urchins were trying to pickpocket them!!! You can totally see it on the photo! Luckily, they didn’t get anything as their trusty shorts saved the day – they have very deep pockets, in case you’re interested!?
So I’m fairly knackered and waiting on them louts to get up and packed and outta here!! As we’ve got all day to hang around, we leave the bags at reception and have a mooch around the city of Saigon. Had fun trying to locate a frigging post office for my awesome postcards tho…….you think this being influenced by the French, people would know La Post as being post office – not so much!! Had a faff and eventually found it – it was this tiny wee place that had a whole line of phone booths in – random! But away they went – wonder how long they will take to get home!!
We kill a few hours and grab some lunch at Allez Boo – again, the waiters are giving aaron the eye and it pleases me to wind him up about it hahaha! Back to the guesthouse to read and surf the net until 6ish where we decided to flag a cab for the train station – you think with all our bags we would all think the same thing and go to the taxi rank where all the nice big taxis are queued up………nope…….Aaron goes to the first one directly in front of him which is a fecking knackered looking fiat cinquicento – basically its TINY!! WTF?!?!? We all cram in it and me n Dave are silently raging…..the seats move back and we realise the boot is OPEN! We manage to interupt the driver’s convo with Aaron to stop and sort this out! Raaaaaaaaaaaa – we get to the station and stock up on the essentials…….beer n crisps………and board the train – here goes nothing!!!! Hayley’s first experience of a sleeper train…….
Hmmmmm……ok…..so there’s basically 2 bunks and a big heavy ass metal door – the mattresses look like they’ve been dragged along the ground for a fair few times and are looking very tired!! You have to make the beds yourselves with the sheet and duvet they give you. Ok, not looking too bad now…..and helps me forget what the mattress really looks like! A local woman comes into the compartment as she must have the bed above me – however, she takes one look at us and is a tad freaked out. She walks off gabbling away to her hubby and 10mins later, this older local bloke comes in and smiles and then sits on the bed above me. Oh well, we have a roomie! We try to make conversation with him but he don’t speak a word of English, so hey ho! Lets play poker!!! Aaron teaches us well and I do not too badly!!
Unfortunately, I had to encounter a few trips to the squatty toilet – due to the cans of beer – which was a fun experience……NOT!!! Man alive, how is it hygenic?! I don’t get it and my aim is SHIT!!! Anyhoo, I later find out we have a western toilet on board – so all is well in the world again! Its 1ish and we decide to head for the land of nod…..earplugs and eye mask is a must.

Mon 2nd Feb - War Stuff

Ugh – another early start – man, I need a holiday haha. I’m up first, as always – these boys are lazy! So I go downstairs and have brekkie before them. Again, Aaron is mister grumpy so cant be arsed talking to him until he’s had his darn coffee and breakfast! Its free here – yay – you get a slice of watermelon, bread, toast, fried egg and coffee J all good!
We wait on the tour people to get us for the Cu Chi Tunnel trip. We’re on the coach and head for about an hour where we stop off at this handicraft factory place. Special thing about this place is, all the arts n crafts that are made here are all made by Vietnamese people with special needs – or as the locals call it ‘Handicrafts made by the Handicapped’ - hmmm…not so PC over here methinks. Anyhoo, we have a walk through the production place and its amazing what they’re making and how they’re making it. There’s a section where they’re sticking egg shells to wood and crushing them on to make a pattern. Other sections include: painting, mother of pearl section, varnishing – its amazing to watch. And then we get guided into the gift shop! Typical but I buy a keyring only $2.
Off we go to the tunnels. We stay in our coach group and get taken to a place where we watch a mini documentary all about the vietnam war and how people lived in tunnels underground to survive. We get taken on the trail of where these people lived, showing us the traps they laid, the uniforms they wore and the weapons they made. Its incredible at how imaginative they are and what they came up with to survive. Aaron has a go at the shooting range on another type of big ass gun……..god knows which one – and its sooooooooo loud!!! Get chatting to 2 girls and a lad, who are from the UK, and they’re pretty much doing the same route as us but going down to Thailand through cambodia – instead of what we’re doing! They’re good chat and recommend a few places to stay and stuff to do in Danang – said its even cheaper up there haha!
We come up to where the actual tunnel entrances are and the guide says the tunnels have been widened for tourists to go under and they have lights in them as well…..hmmm I should be ok then……..aye whatever!!!!! I give it a go even though I am bricking it and scared of freaking out due to claustrophobia……didn’t last long!! The first bit down was fine and then it goes further down and you have to crouch down and walk like that – no danger! I chicken out and leave dave to it – Aaron agrees as well J We wait on Dave coming up 60 metres down the way and he comes up really sweaty and fairly manky! He said you practically have to crawl through it and there are parts you have to drop down further and lever yourself through a hole – OMG – could you imagine me doing that?! Hell no!!!!!!!!!!! so glad I didn’t!!!
Back on the coach and we all fall asleep – tiring this sightseeing malarkey!! We get dropped off at the war museum and more depressing gubbins. I’ve learnt so much being here but it don’t half make you hate Americans! What they did to these people – the pictures are horrific – I mean, I’ve seen pictures of people’s bodies dismembered by soldiers and parading their heads of sticks. Sick sick sick. You don’t get that in the press these days.
We manage to navigate our way back to the hostel – via KFC – yup, those boys are hungry again!! They have worms I tell ye! Boys go to bed for a snooze and I mess around on t’internet for a bit and write the obligatory postcards – wonder how long these will take to get home!? Hmmm…..tomoz is a relaxing day – checking out and then killing time until we get the sleeper train at 7.40pm- this should be fun – lets hope it is pretty good for Asian 1st class?!?

Hayley

Sun 1st Feb - Manic Waterparks

We try and have a lie in and get up around 10ish – we want a fairly lazy day – so Aaron has been researching and we’re all up for the water park. Yay!! It’s cheap as chips in a taxi, so we head there in a cab. It looks like Alton Towers when we arrive and we wander around aimlessly for a bit. We spy a couple of girls who look as lost as us and start talking to them! One is from Germany and the other from Aberdeen – she lives over here and is an English teacher! We eventually find the entrance and hit the waterpark – O….M….G…..you have never seen somewhere so busy!!!!!!! And no westerners around!!!!!!! Everyone is staring and some kids are even yelling ‘hello’ and waving like loons at us = we are celebs! Mental! And to top off the weirdness……loads of the peeps there are swimming in their clothes!! Yup – some are even wearing skinny jeans – I am totally bemused by it all and start to stress that my swimsuit is going to offend people – it shouldn’t as it’s a damn swimsuit – but still, its all so weird!!
There is no where to sit – like in a normal waterpark – and so we make do under a canopy and the boys go off first while I read. They’re gone for ages and so I think they’re testing out all the slides….they went on 1!!!!! The queues are worse than alton towers! Its now my turn….eeeeeeek….and me and Aaron decide to go for the fish bowl slide- haha – how funny! You go straight down this tube slide and then get dropped off into a fish bowl type thing and spin around there until you plop out! So dignified!! Went on a rubber ring one and Aaron enjoyed the zipline – we manage to find some bamboo deck chairs and chill for a bit! Still cant get over all the staring – I mean, how rude! We don’t stare at foreigners when they visit the UK – ugh!!
we leave the waterpark section and mooch around this vast park of a place! It has characters in costumes dancing around, a monorail, fountains, massive lake with pedalos on it!! Really bizarre! Then its back in a cab and we mess around on internet for a bit – managed to ring dad on skype which was banter J
Out for dinner in time for the footie!! Its newcastle v sunderland and then liverpool v chelsea – come on the reds!!! We have to wait until 11pm for KO but we’re at the Go2 bar again and it’s a good atmos. I predict correct scores for both matches, which freaks out aaron no end!! 2-0 to the mighty reds and I go to bed happy!!!!!!!!