So, we get up at 6ish and we all have to get ready in the pitch black, without waking up the rest of the dorm. Blimming impossible!! Haha! Anyhoo, we manage it and Aaron is feeling ruff as a badger…. Surprisingly! He says he met up with a couple from south shields on his way home last nite – must’ve just spoke to anyone who passed him! Random boy he is! Brekkie is free and we have a big roll and some crazy ass jam – like a mixture between strawberries and bananas!
We get picked up by a mini bus – looks nice n comfy – nuh huh, until we discover that its made for Asian people!!! There is absolutely no leg room and we all end up with bruises on our knees after the 3 hour journey….not good chat!
Once we get to Halong Bay, we get dumped with the 1day tour guide – Mr Choo – or summat like that. OMG – this guy is summat else!!! He obviously learned English from a German, as he spoke with a German / Vietnamese accent!!! Soooooooo random – ‘zee boat is here, if you all would like to come zeez way please’ – haha – and he had this mole on his chin, with 4 MASSIVELY long hairs coming out of it………….moley moley!!! We cant concentrate on anything else once we had spotted that – deary me – this was going to be fun!!
The boat is a nice old style wooden affair and we go upstairs to sit outside for a bit. Its overcast and a bit a chilly – for once – so don’t stay up there for too long. Oh and when the captain is trying to steer out of the uber busy harbour, he honks the 4 horns LOADS!!!! He deafened me!!!
We sit downstairs at our table of 5 and we get spoiled with a seafood buffet! Wow – well impressed. We get squid, prawns, rice, tofu, a whole fish of some kind – the whole thing is dishlicious! After that, the boat takes us along to a floating village. We think it’s the same one as where Top Gear went, but cant be sure. Its crazy how all these people live on these floating villages forever!! I’d go stir crazy!
On the boat is a good ol mixture of peeps – there’s an older couple from NZ – she’s a kiwi and her hubby is scandinavian. A lone German on his own – he was funny. An older woman from Oz and this youngish guy, who’s a brit but works in Shanghai for Tomkins. Bit of a toff but he likes our chat! We get to this point where the boat stops and we get a chance to go kayaking – wicked fun!!!! Was a bit nervous beforehand, but loved it and me n dave were fairly good!!! Was knackering stuff but we got half an hour to go exploring!!! No one falls in which is a great success and we get back onto our boat.
We then get taken to these random caves, where german vietnamese dude takes us for wander through the caves. They are very spectacular and impressive, although Mr Choo is adamant on showing us all these ‘dodgy’ rock formations………..seriously…….there’s a huge rock which looks like a big boob and the guy pees himself laffing! It ends up being contagious, as we’re all laffing as this tour guide laffing – what a hoot – I’ve got tears running down my face! He also points out this tiny rock which kinda looks like a couple – however, german vietnam tour guide dude starts asking for our interpretation. I’m being reserved and say ‘oh it looks like they’re holding hands….’ And he goes ‘pah’ hahaha and then asks the rest of the group who are all being nice and not being rude by going ‘oh it looks like he’s being wanked off’ – which is basically what he wanted us to say – how uncouth?!? He chuckles away to himself and we continue onwards up and through the funky caves.
Once out of there, we return to our boat – there isnt one hint of health and safety in this place, we basically have to go down some very steep rocky steps and over a rickety gangplank, but its all good and we survive! It’s an enjoyable hour back to the harbour and we’re all getting all great – mainly cos everyone is laffing their asses off at Aaron and his crazy Serbian ski holiday shenanigans!
Once we get off the boat, its time for Mr choo to find us our bus….hmmm….this takes a wee bit of time and we get shuffled onto another minibus – luckily, we’ve used our noggins and ran for the front of the queue and got a decent seat with legroom this time J however, there was a downside……there seems to be this godgiven right to every male in the population of Vietnam, allowing them to hock up every 5 frigging seconds!!!! Its totally disgusting and make me want to gag. Luckily for me, the fecking driver is doing this the whole way back….that’s 3hours!!!! Raaaaaaaaa – I plug in the mp3 player and listen to some loud ass tunes!
We get back to the hostel for around 8pm and we decide we’re in need of some proper western food that we can eat with cutlery, instead of chopsticks! We hunt around for a bit and end up in the uber expensive place – it isnt really – you’re getting a steak for bout £6 which is awesome, but expensive is ‘Nam! Dinner is yum and we go to Finnegans for 1 – too stuffed to drink and knackered! We head to hostel and book SNAKE VILLAGE for tomoz – eeeeeeeeek – how exciting!
Hayley
We get picked up by a mini bus – looks nice n comfy – nuh huh, until we discover that its made for Asian people!!! There is absolutely no leg room and we all end up with bruises on our knees after the 3 hour journey….not good chat!
Once we get to Halong Bay, we get dumped with the 1day tour guide – Mr Choo – or summat like that. OMG – this guy is summat else!!! He obviously learned English from a German, as he spoke with a German / Vietnamese accent!!! Soooooooo random – ‘zee boat is here, if you all would like to come zeez way please’ – haha – and he had this mole on his chin, with 4 MASSIVELY long hairs coming out of it………….moley moley!!! We cant concentrate on anything else once we had spotted that – deary me – this was going to be fun!!
The boat is a nice old style wooden affair and we go upstairs to sit outside for a bit. Its overcast and a bit a chilly – for once – so don’t stay up there for too long. Oh and when the captain is trying to steer out of the uber busy harbour, he honks the 4 horns LOADS!!!! He deafened me!!!
We sit downstairs at our table of 5 and we get spoiled with a seafood buffet! Wow – well impressed. We get squid, prawns, rice, tofu, a whole fish of some kind – the whole thing is dishlicious! After that, the boat takes us along to a floating village. We think it’s the same one as where Top Gear went, but cant be sure. Its crazy how all these people live on these floating villages forever!! I’d go stir crazy!
On the boat is a good ol mixture of peeps – there’s an older couple from NZ – she’s a kiwi and her hubby is scandinavian. A lone German on his own – he was funny. An older woman from Oz and this youngish guy, who’s a brit but works in Shanghai for Tomkins. Bit of a toff but he likes our chat! We get to this point where the boat stops and we get a chance to go kayaking – wicked fun!!!! Was a bit nervous beforehand, but loved it and me n dave were fairly good!!! Was knackering stuff but we got half an hour to go exploring!!! No one falls in which is a great success and we get back onto our boat.
We then get taken to these random caves, where german vietnamese dude takes us for wander through the caves. They are very spectacular and impressive, although Mr Choo is adamant on showing us all these ‘dodgy’ rock formations………..seriously…….there’s a huge rock which looks like a big boob and the guy pees himself laffing! It ends up being contagious, as we’re all laffing as this tour guide laffing – what a hoot – I’ve got tears running down my face! He also points out this tiny rock which kinda looks like a couple – however, german vietnam tour guide dude starts asking for our interpretation. I’m being reserved and say ‘oh it looks like they’re holding hands….’ And he goes ‘pah’ hahaha and then asks the rest of the group who are all being nice and not being rude by going ‘oh it looks like he’s being wanked off’ – which is basically what he wanted us to say – how uncouth?!? He chuckles away to himself and we continue onwards up and through the funky caves.
Once out of there, we return to our boat – there isnt one hint of health and safety in this place, we basically have to go down some very steep rocky steps and over a rickety gangplank, but its all good and we survive! It’s an enjoyable hour back to the harbour and we’re all getting all great – mainly cos everyone is laffing their asses off at Aaron and his crazy Serbian ski holiday shenanigans!
Once we get off the boat, its time for Mr choo to find us our bus….hmmm….this takes a wee bit of time and we get shuffled onto another minibus – luckily, we’ve used our noggins and ran for the front of the queue and got a decent seat with legroom this time J however, there was a downside……there seems to be this godgiven right to every male in the population of Vietnam, allowing them to hock up every 5 frigging seconds!!!! Its totally disgusting and make me want to gag. Luckily for me, the fecking driver is doing this the whole way back….that’s 3hours!!!! Raaaaaaaaa – I plug in the mp3 player and listen to some loud ass tunes!
We get back to the hostel for around 8pm and we decide we’re in need of some proper western food that we can eat with cutlery, instead of chopsticks! We hunt around for a bit and end up in the uber expensive place – it isnt really – you’re getting a steak for bout £6 which is awesome, but expensive is ‘Nam! Dinner is yum and we go to Finnegans for 1 – too stuffed to drink and knackered! We head to hostel and book SNAKE VILLAGE for tomoz – eeeeeeeeek – how exciting!
Hayley
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