Fri 23rd Jan - Bangkok Newbies

Well….today was a hoot…after reading all the books about being ripped off and how to avoid the scams….hmmmm….we got taken for ‘a ride’ so to speak – by a Tuk Tuk driver.
Anyhoo, the day started off well - we had fun getting to the ferry terminal – went on the subway, then the sky train and then head to the main ferry stop. Aaron n Dave decide to have fried Squid n sausage on a stick from a side street stall. It does look good but I aint up for that just yet…..scared of getting the shits!!! We hop on the ferry – the no.9 and there are seats reserved for monks – haha! How random…
It takes about 20mins and we disembark at The Grand Palace where the fun begins. Again, walking through the crazy street market is an experience in itself – the smells, the vibrant colours, the mental street sellers….there is such a buzz!!! We cross the road to the Grand Palace and attempt to walk in – as you do – however, we get stopped by this ultra nice dude who ‘appears’ to work at the palace as he’s wearing a laminated badge and looks official….pah, now we know better – fecking scoundrel!!!!
He informs us that we cant go into the palace with the clothes we’re wearing – which I know is true, but was gonna hire some robes to go over before going in. He says we have to waste some time until 3pm which is when we can go into the palace for a tour and hire the robes then. However, as its 1pm we must go see the Big Buddha, a few other places – tourist information centre – and some other temple. We can get a Tuk Tuk for 90 baht (£2) and they will stay with us for the whole day and bring us back at 3pm. He tells us that all Tuk Tuk’s with a white badge on the front are cosha and so we’ll be fine in one of them. This all sounds too good to be true and quite exciting, so off we pop into this Tuk Tuk….
Hahahhahahahah – what a mental ride this is!!!! You’re whizzing through the streets, breathing in all sorts of fumes and seeing everything from street level. Its like a trike with an engine and goes up to about 40 mph. mental but fun!!! We see the big buddha – highest standing buddha in the world and we mooch around there for a bit. A nice Thai man speaks to us and gives us a bit of chat about the history and asks if we’re English teachers – hahaha – Dave n Aaron teaching kinds ENGLISH!? WTF?! You’ll get loads of wee Thai kids with geordie accents – what a hoot!?
We jump back into our wee chauffeur of a tuk tuk and I start to question the sexuality of our driver…I actually think this man is a woman!!!! But with a mannish hair cut and uniform – mental!! Aaron doesn’t quite agree and is a bit perplexed by situation!!! He-she then starts to tell us that we’re going to see Thai Fashions – oooh, quite excited at this…..yeah right….it’s a fecking suit shop! Ugh – and the salesmen swarm around ya like flies around shite!! Hmmm….i smell a scam evolving….anyways, the dudes ask what we do for jobs – thinking we’re some highflying individuals and we all say smiling ‘we’re unemployed – got laid off’ haha that shut them up as one bogged off thinking we weren’t gonna buy anything – egg on your face mister!!! We entertain them by looking though their pesky catalogues and they reckon they can make up a 4piece suit for about £160…..well, it maybe good value but I hate getting made to feel you HAVE to buy something.
Next stop – Thai Jewellery…..hmmm….more peeps trying to sell us stuff – but hey, I cant afford any of it so don’t even bother chatting to the sales people – funny story though, one was a blatant ladyboy!!!! Seriously, long extenstions, false nails, eyelashes the works and one hell of a deep voice – hahahhahaah!! Freaky!
Off we pop into the tuk tuk and heshe says ‘ah ok, you help me now. I get free gasoline when I take you to shops. You must look in shops for at least 5minutes. You help me yes?’ Aaron opens his gob and goes ‘why naw, no problem’ – argh!!! WTF?!?!?! We then get taken to a dodgy tourist information shop – it’s a fecking travel agents who just want to sell trips. The geezer was well not helping us in information for cambodia – kept wanting to sell us the bus trip to cambodia and wouldn’t even entertain the fact that we wanted to go by train – funny that – its about 12x more expensive by bus!!!!
Next stop was ANOTHER jewellers and the lads start to get pissed off so we tell our tuk tuk heshe that heshe HAS to take us back to the palace. Heshe is well annoyed but tuff shite – we aint taking this guff, so heshe drives back to palace………..where it closes for tours at 3.30 – its now 3.35pm – hahahah – we had to laff….as we’ve been taken for a blatant ride!!!
We get the subway back and consume some more cheap bevvies before heading out…..
Wow – what an experience that was?!??!?! Centre of Bangkok is mental – its like Blackpool and Kavos mixed together on speed!!! Every pub wants you in and every pub has the ladies of the nite dancing. Argh!!! It totally opened my eyes, I can tell you that now!! The 3 of us did a kinda of lady dancing pubcrawl – hahaha – you can buy 5 pingpong balls for 100baht and throw them at the dancers. Apparently, this gets the girls a tip! Its mental!!!
We were even sat in one bar and the chick thought I was hot and wanted me to come through for a dance – wtf?!?!? How bizarre. Oh and some other lady of the nite reckoned me n Aaron were an item – BOG OFF!!!
We go to another bar where 3 lads of giving the barmaid some banter. They turn out to be 3 ozzie dudes who are on holiday and they are good craic – Peter, Mark and Jason I think….end up hanging around with them for the rest of the nite.
We leave after a few drinks for some food…………….and what do we all eat?!?!?! Deep fried locusts, maggots and frogs – LMAO! Cant believe I ate that and I have pics to prove it – whoohooo!!! They don’t taste bad at all! Go me!!! End up at a maccie d’s where there is a crazy freak of a woman trying to speak to us – she is mental and sounds like she is on helium…..great chat!! It’s gone 3.30 and we’re all making a bit of a noise so decide to head home – we exchange email addresses with the ozzie guys as they’re uber jealous of all the mad pics I took of them!
We manage to get a taxi and head back to the apartment – HA HA top nite!

Hayley