Sat 31st Jan - Off to Nam

So we wake up and have to meet at 7.30am at reception – ugh – don’t talk to me – I’m soooooo tired. Didn’t sleep well cos knew we had to get up early today. Raaaaaa!!! We’re waiting around a fair bit and I start to get antsy that the bus aint turning up – however, this mini bus turns up and we pile onto there. Who do we see on it? Catriona from Siem Reap hostel – haha – how funny!! We’re so doing the same route as everyone we’ve seen before!!
We get dumped off at this street corner….AKA….Phnom Penh’s bus station – utter chaos – one dude is asking us for tickets, but we already handed them to the mini bus dude. Whilst this is happening, I’m looking for my rucksack which has been dumped on the ground and now I cant find it!!!!!!!!! Argh – PANICKED HAYLEY!!!!!!!!!!! I run around like a loon and luckily find another backpacker who has the same backpack as me – phew! We swap and all is well with my bloodpressure! …………..until we get on the damn coach……..we were promised designated seats –however, this has gone out the window when we’re the last ones to get on!! There is one seat left, right on the back seat which I grab – I’m sat beside a vietnamese lady and a monk – not funny I know, until you see him on his mobile txting away. Chuckle chuckle…..anyhoo poor Dave n Aaron have to sit on the floor in this random space infront of me (where the 2 missing rows should be!!) – then the driver pulls out 2 plastic garden chairs for them to sit on – LMAO!!!!!!!!! What a sight!!!!!!! They have to sit on garden furniture for 6hours!!!! And we paid $12 for this – I canny believe this! But hey, they don’t seem to mind – it’s the darn principle of the thing though!
To be fair, the bus journey aint too bad – we stop off at the equivalent of a service station – although, it’s a run down shack type place selling coconuts and cans of fizzy pop. There’s a faff with our change as the waiter dude is trying to give us change of dollars in Cambodian Riel, which aint accepted in Vietnam, then tries to fob us off with less Dong than what is our change – yup, I said Dong………..hahaha – we’re going to be using Vietnamese DONG!!!! And 10,000 dong is like £4 or summat ridiculous like that! Argh – my head hurts already!
Back on the bus and next farce is going across the border. Stay with me, it may get confusing…..
We have to hand our passports to our travel guide dude, who then scurries off the bus and hands them to the customs/border crossing dude, who then shouts for us all to get off the bus, who then stands infront of the bus and yells out each name of the passports….imagine if you will a Vietnamese / Cambodian bloke trying to pronounce all sorts of European names (we had chicks from Sweden on our bus)….it was painful to say the least. So we’re allowed back on the bus once he’s read your name out – but still they hang onto our passports….hmmmm….dont be losing ours please!! We get to the next part of the border – Immigration I think – and we all have to get off the coach AGAIN and pick up our bags and trudge through to this immigration hall. Hmmmm…..should we not have our passports at this point?! Oh that’s right – this is farce city isnt it – so they get a local that’s been a passenger on the bus (obviously a mate of travel guide dude) and he has a handful of passports in his hand and starts trying to read out the names on the passports!!!!!!! WTF?!?!? This is crazy!!!! Eventually, we manage to decipher what he’s saying and we all get our passports – they’ve been stamped and we walk through to the other side and we’re in VIETNAM baby!
Back on the coach again and it takes just under 2hrs to get to Ho Chi Min. We get dropped off and straightaway I notice….no crazy tuk tuk drivers!!! The taxi men arent even that bothered to get a fare – yay!! No more hassle!!! We get the map out and head for the hostel. Its called the Yellow House Hotel and is down a wee alley way. The woman on reception is really nice – room is on the 5th floor tho – ugh!! How knackering with backpacks!! There are 2 beds pushed together and one mattress. Nice n cosy! Haha! We shower and head to this pub next door – Allez Boo – have a nice noodle seafood combo and just get our bearings. We find another bar and its 2 4 1 on beer – but you have to go up 5flights up to the roof terrace – its lovely tho – when you get there!! We stay there for quite a while and end up having a BBQ up there – you have it on your table – a built in bbq - how smart!? Well impressed! So far, loving vietnam!!

Hayley

Fri 30th Jan - Massage Day

We have a nice lie-in and head for breakfast at that Rendezvous place again. Aaron hasn’t fully woken up and you don’t want to wind him up in this state – just so you know. We had a fair few beggar type childers coming up to our table and I thought he was gonna lose the plot and deck them!!! Yup, mister grumpy in the morning – espesh if he aint had coffee, fag and food – you have been warned.
Anyhoo, we decide to go for a massage which is advertised next door to our hostel. It all looks fine and not at all dodgy…….until we walk in and from up above this woman appears behind a curtain ‘hello? You want massage? You want 1 hour yes?’ and we were like ‘yup’ – and I could’ve sworn she was naked and oily behind that curtain……..oh feck…..i aint looking forward to this – don’t want any dodgy shenanigans!!!! We go upstairs and we get our feet washed by these wee kiddies – they could be 25 for all I know – they just look really young!!! Then we get led into a room full of beds…..the room looks very familiar – oh yeah, like our brothel room in Bangkok…hahaha….i’m nervous now!! Especially as Dave is in bed next to me and Aaron at the end – each with their own small Cambodian woman to rub away their woes……
OWW!!!!!!!
My god, that massage was not that relaxing at all!! They proper poke and prod you – I swear I must have bruises now!!! Those pesky kids have powerful hands – then then stretch and make you contort into random positions…..ow again!!! The hour goes by – thank god – and we’re covered in baby oil about to go out in the midday sun – hahah – good plan!
We walk to the Palace and mooch around there for a bit – its very similar to the Grand Palace in Bangkok. Buildings are beautiful but we’re all templed out so we head to that sports bar place for some drinks and abuse their internet for free. I watch a bit of tennis semi final and people watch as the lads are on internet. Ugh, there is a german in the bar – looks like he may run it or just knows the management, as he goes behind the bar a lot – and he is hideous. He has a ginger long ponytail, receding hair and fat stomach in an illfitting hawaiian shirt – what a catch! And to make matters worse, he is leering all over the waitresses in there and they are hating it!!! Ugh, those poor women and again, they may even have to let him do the deed if he pays the right money – I DON’T GET IT!!!!!! Bleurgh!!!!
Anyhoo, back to hostel to get changed and we head for a Thai meal later on that nite – I ask for noodles and get…….super noodles –I kid you not!!!! Super noodles in Cambodia – who’d have thought it!? The shame!! Up early tomoz – ugh – another long ass bus ride….booo….but then its bye bye cambodia – really like the country but not keen on Phnom Penh – really smelly with too much rubbish around.

Hayley

29th Jan - Killing Fields

So, today was a lovely depressing day…well, I certainly learnt a lot about history during our sightseeing trip. Pierre, our personal tuk tuk driver, picked us up after breakfast at 10am. Still cant get over the driving of these folk over here – it never ceases to amaze me and I don’t even know if they have to pass a driving test – crazy shenanigans all around!!!
We drive out for about 40 mins –yup, in this dusty smelly tuk tuk – out to this random army base where Aaron wants to fire guns!! I half think about it but it is a waste of money really, if you think about it…however, boys will be boys and Aaron wants to fire an AK 47 – listen to this……..he gets offered if he wants to shoot a chicken…..yup! A real live chicken!? How awful!!! Luckily, he declines and gets on with shooting in this wee kinda long shed place….he doesn’t hit the target – which is a bit mental – so Dave assumes he’s been firing blanks! Off we trot to the Killing fields…..
Man alive, I had no idea about the history of what happened here – Pol Pott and his crazy mentalist ideals of having no educated people or anyone with jobs….basically, he rounded up everyone who had an education, religious, working and wanted them to become peasants and work in the fields. He wanted a classless society – however, he was a crazy messed up dictator and killed a ¼ of the population in Cambodia – absolutely sickening. At the killing fields, its pretty eerie and quiet with a few tourists walking around. There is a memorial building in which lies over 8000 skulls!!!! It is really shocking to see and I get pretty emotional. Especially when reading all about the torture that went on.
We continue to walk around and there are these 2 wee boys behind a fence, yapping away in English and telling us what the sign says – I think its cute and they even say ‘photo please!’ so I do as they say……….silly me………they then say ‘ok, money please!’ and show me their sad begging faces – wee bams!!! They totally scammed me and cos I felt sorry for them I gave them a dollar –then wanted a dollar each but I told them to share – off they went! What a doofus I am! Obviously, Dave and Aaron walk off saying ‘silly bint! Couldn’t you see what was gonna happen?!’ –argh shut it! Its 75p!!!
Once we walk around, we get our driver to go to S21 – the place where they imprisoned all the prisoners of war. It used to be a school and then Pol Pott ordered for it to be changed into cells and places of torture. Its really harrowing, especially as there are mugshots of all the people that suffered there. We get to go into their cells and see what it wouldve been like – its really shocking that I had no idea about the atrocities that happened in this country. We walk around S21, which is museum / memorial place for about 2hrs. After this harrowing experience of a day, we head for some lunch before Pierre takes us back.
What a day….i end up having a wee snooze and we head for dinner around 8ish. We go for a walk to find a different area of the city and end up walking for blimming ages and rock up to this seafood chinese restaurant – haha – I have never been into such a posh chinese before with sooooooo many staff to wait on us! Turns out fairly expensive – for where we are – so we wont be going there again! Play around on internet for a bit and head for a few drinks in this nice sports type bar. End up talking to this bloke who was only from…….Dumfries!!! but he lives in london now – haha – small world. He was sat with some drunken russian woman – who had the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen!! Seriously, they were massive and they weren’t fake which is probably worse as they were down to her knees….shocking but true! Anyhoo, we head back to hostel for about 12.

Hayley

Wed 28th Jan - Off To Cambodia's Capital

So today’s the day we leave Siam Reap. Hostel has been wicked and totally recommend it to anyone. We grab some breakfast and dump our rucksacks at reception. This is where the day gets AMAZING!! Someone has responded to my Lost Phone notice and says ‘found a phone, see Christa room 303 J” I run up those stairs like a mentalist and knock on the door praying that she’s got my phone……and……..she does!!! YAY!!!!!! Apparently she was gonna hand it in, but reception wouldn’t take it – hmmm…weird….but all is well in the world!!! J
The bus ride to Phnom Penh is just over 5hrs and really aint that bad to be honest. Slept a wee bit, read a lot and listened to my tunes – all good! Got a bit hot at times but then the air con kicked in.
This is the capital of Cambodia and you can tell. Our hostel is called The Woolly Rhino and it aint too bad. Got a bar with pool table as you come in, the rooms smell a bit damp– but think that was mentioned on the website – nowt you cant deal with. The room has a huge double bed and TV (with CNN – yay English channel) so aint complaining. Aaron aint got electricity in his room so he sits and plays pool with the locals drinking – typical!!! Dave and I get ready and get Aaron before he gets anymore wasted! We need food J
End up at a place called Rendezvous – I have Kampot Shrimp Curry – kinda like a soupy broth type thing – yummy!! And comes with rice – sooooooo stuffed!!! We go off wandering and the place is pretty filthy. Oh and what do we stumble upon, the red light district! Argh – I’m getting fed up with all these women – who are all young, gorgeous girls – but are all being exploited and aiming to shag westerners for their money!! I mean, all the adverts for pubs in the leaflet I got from hostel says ‘lovely bar, lovely hostesses’, ‘come see our bar with our gorgeous hostesses’ - FFS!!! Are female westerners not allowed to go out!? Huh huh?!
Rant over
I’m bored of just sitting drinking – bit of a waste of money and plus have to put up with boy chat so they head out for a bit and I head for the room to chill and type up the novel!!

Hayley

Sun 25th Jan - Cambodia here we come!!

So, I end up having about 3hrs kip – don’t feel too bad to be fair. We get our cab at 4am and head for the station – which is miles away actually! God, this city is big and still buzzing at that time of the morning! Mental – do they ever sleep??!
We queue up for our tickets and see a few groups of backpackers who are all getting same train as us – haha – we go grab our seats on the train 45mins before its due to leave. Plenty of time I hear you say….well, its actually filling up even that early! If we had turned up any later, I think we’d be standing!!!
The train is pretty old looking and all the windows are open as there is no air con. We manage to get seats together and chain up the backpacks to the railings above. I expected wooden seats, but these look alright!!
Ugh, 5hours later – my arse cheeks are not agreeing with me – man alive, that was hardcore…….we get off at Aranyprathet (?) which is the border town. I was bursting on the bog and I just couldn’t go at the station toilet – it was a squatty one – argh!! And covered in piss!! How is this more hygenic!?!??! Its so wrong!!! So I refused…..
We then have to get a tuk tuk to the border which is 5mins away. Well, you read about the scams at the border and that people take you to an office to get your visa stamped. This is total Bull and is just a way to get your money. So when the wee tuktuk man pulls up at some random travel agent, on the side of the road, we all know he’s taking the piss. These guys come up going ‘hey, you go to vietnam, we sort your visa out here’ and we all go ‘no thanks, border please NOW’. They give us a wry smile and they know that we know they are dodgy bams!!! Argh!!! I hate this!!! Stop taking the mick out of tourists!!!! We are helping your f’ing industry and all you want to do is rip us off – not amused…..
Anyhoo, we get to the border and the lads eat – I manage to find a western bog – yay!! Hayley happy!!! And then we trudge through the border and wait for ages at immigration….ages and ages. End up talking to a polish bloke who has amazing English and was dead friendly – they were doing this as a 2wk holiday – Thailand and Cambodia and then home – mental!! There are a group of youngish lasses from England in front of us who we seem to be following! Passports get stamped and we get on a free bus to the main bus/taxi terminal. This seems like where they herd all the tourists and then take them onto Siem Reap – 4hr bus or 3hr taxi ride.
We decide on quickness and opt for Taxi – its about £40 which we don’t mind as there is 3 of us. Haha – well when I see the taxi we’re about to get in, I’m thinking of changing my mind….its this clapped out toyota which has seen better days. The windscreen is all cracked to hell – seriously – and the car is donkeys old. Oh well, wish us luck.
The taxi ride is a right hoot!!!!! The roads are soooo bad and full of potholes, no wonder they don’t have new cars here. Mental!! We even pick up his 4yr old son who sits BEHIND him on the drivers seat – crazy I tell ya. However, I’m so fecking tired that I actually sleep in the car through all the potholes – its like a fairground ride!!
We get to Siem Reap where we get dropped off at a tuk tuk stand….again, I’m paranoid as hell and think they’re gonna rip us off. However, they don’t and say its included in the taxi ride we paid before. Coolio!! Aaron has to ride on the back of a moped to the hostel – hahahhahaha – with his backpack!!!!!!! We get a man riding with us who explains about the temples and how to go see them. We can get a tuk tuk for the whole day for $15 – nae bad!!
Hostel is really nice – we’re in a group dorm with 3 other people – Mia from Finland, Silvie from California and some woman from S.A. There is free wifi, a pool and a bar with cheap drink!
We go out for dinner and I have some beef cashew nuts dish. I haggle and buy some ethnic pants for about £3! And then its bedtime

Hayley

Sat 24th Jan - Our Last Day In Bangkok

We all surface about 11ish and we aint too hungover and decide to do the Crocodile Farm today. We get ol John boy to phone us a taxi and it actually takes almost an hour!! But only costs us £6 – that’s mental!!!
Was really surprised at how many blimming crocs are in this place and at how freaked out I got….yup, I was a major big sissy. It doesn’t help that the fences don’t go up that far – I mean, I’m sure this things jump – don’t they!? They even have a ‘special’ section for disabled crocs…I kid you not…..there is a croc with a wonky nose – crazy stuff.
Aaron gets to hold a baby White Tiger – so jealous!!!! But got some pics which are cool. We stroll around the place and see the breeding pens – there’s wee baby crocs running around – still take your finger off I bet. It turns out this place is practically a zoo, but as its ‘winter’ and off season the place is pretty empty and feels like we have the run of the place. We joke that we’ll probs end up in some enclosure full of lions and not know until its too late….hmmm…..but hey, 4pm comes and off we go to watch the crocodile wrestling show. Its really good – I’m sure its cruel to the crocs, but surely they would just kill the performers if they were that hacked off?!! Hmmm….anyhoo, muchos entertainment and I can be heard freaking out on the video we took of it!
Getting home was fun. We couldn’t get through to our taxi dude from earlier, so we had to get one of the dodgy geezers from outside the croc farm. I am getting so hacked off with the fact that they think us brits are thick as shite and will be taken for a ride!!! Argh!!! So they started to say they would charge us 500 baht! And I went ‘nuh, earlier we got it for 300 baht’ – it took a while but got it to 350 baht – feckers! Don’t mess with me!!! Traffic is mental and again, it takes bout an hour or just over. We pack and the lads go off to the station to book tickets for way back down to Thailand next month. Early start tomorrow – looks like we’re getting up at 3ish and then train at 5.50am – not looking forward to this………

Hayley

Fri 23rd Jan - Bangkok Newbies

Well….today was a hoot…after reading all the books about being ripped off and how to avoid the scams….hmmmm….we got taken for ‘a ride’ so to speak – by a Tuk Tuk driver.
Anyhoo, the day started off well - we had fun getting to the ferry terminal – went on the subway, then the sky train and then head to the main ferry stop. Aaron n Dave decide to have fried Squid n sausage on a stick from a side street stall. It does look good but I aint up for that just yet…..scared of getting the shits!!! We hop on the ferry – the no.9 and there are seats reserved for monks – haha! How random…
It takes about 20mins and we disembark at The Grand Palace where the fun begins. Again, walking through the crazy street market is an experience in itself – the smells, the vibrant colours, the mental street sellers….there is such a buzz!!! We cross the road to the Grand Palace and attempt to walk in – as you do – however, we get stopped by this ultra nice dude who ‘appears’ to work at the palace as he’s wearing a laminated badge and looks official….pah, now we know better – fecking scoundrel!!!!
He informs us that we cant go into the palace with the clothes we’re wearing – which I know is true, but was gonna hire some robes to go over before going in. He says we have to waste some time until 3pm which is when we can go into the palace for a tour and hire the robes then. However, as its 1pm we must go see the Big Buddha, a few other places – tourist information centre – and some other temple. We can get a Tuk Tuk for 90 baht (£2) and they will stay with us for the whole day and bring us back at 3pm. He tells us that all Tuk Tuk’s with a white badge on the front are cosha and so we’ll be fine in one of them. This all sounds too good to be true and quite exciting, so off we pop into this Tuk Tuk….
Hahahhahahahah – what a mental ride this is!!!! You’re whizzing through the streets, breathing in all sorts of fumes and seeing everything from street level. Its like a trike with an engine and goes up to about 40 mph. mental but fun!!! We see the big buddha – highest standing buddha in the world and we mooch around there for a bit. A nice Thai man speaks to us and gives us a bit of chat about the history and asks if we’re English teachers – hahaha – Dave n Aaron teaching kinds ENGLISH!? WTF?! You’ll get loads of wee Thai kids with geordie accents – what a hoot!?
We jump back into our wee chauffeur of a tuk tuk and I start to question the sexuality of our driver…I actually think this man is a woman!!!! But with a mannish hair cut and uniform – mental!! Aaron doesn’t quite agree and is a bit perplexed by situation!!! He-she then starts to tell us that we’re going to see Thai Fashions – oooh, quite excited at this…..yeah right….it’s a fecking suit shop! Ugh – and the salesmen swarm around ya like flies around shite!! Hmmm….i smell a scam evolving….anyways, the dudes ask what we do for jobs – thinking we’re some highflying individuals and we all say smiling ‘we’re unemployed – got laid off’ haha that shut them up as one bogged off thinking we weren’t gonna buy anything – egg on your face mister!!! We entertain them by looking though their pesky catalogues and they reckon they can make up a 4piece suit for about £160…..well, it maybe good value but I hate getting made to feel you HAVE to buy something.
Next stop – Thai Jewellery…..hmmm….more peeps trying to sell us stuff – but hey, I cant afford any of it so don’t even bother chatting to the sales people – funny story though, one was a blatant ladyboy!!!! Seriously, long extenstions, false nails, eyelashes the works and one hell of a deep voice – hahahhahaah!! Freaky!
Off we pop into the tuk tuk and heshe says ‘ah ok, you help me now. I get free gasoline when I take you to shops. You must look in shops for at least 5minutes. You help me yes?’ Aaron opens his gob and goes ‘why naw, no problem’ – argh!!! WTF?!?!?! We then get taken to a dodgy tourist information shop – it’s a fecking travel agents who just want to sell trips. The geezer was well not helping us in information for cambodia – kept wanting to sell us the bus trip to cambodia and wouldn’t even entertain the fact that we wanted to go by train – funny that – its about 12x more expensive by bus!!!!
Next stop was ANOTHER jewellers and the lads start to get pissed off so we tell our tuk tuk heshe that heshe HAS to take us back to the palace. Heshe is well annoyed but tuff shite – we aint taking this guff, so heshe drives back to palace………..where it closes for tours at 3.30 – its now 3.35pm – hahahah – we had to laff….as we’ve been taken for a blatant ride!!!
We get the subway back and consume some more cheap bevvies before heading out…..
Wow – what an experience that was?!??!?! Centre of Bangkok is mental – its like Blackpool and Kavos mixed together on speed!!! Every pub wants you in and every pub has the ladies of the nite dancing. Argh!!! It totally opened my eyes, I can tell you that now!! The 3 of us did a kinda of lady dancing pubcrawl – hahaha – you can buy 5 pingpong balls for 100baht and throw them at the dancers. Apparently, this gets the girls a tip! Its mental!!!
We were even sat in one bar and the chick thought I was hot and wanted me to come through for a dance – wtf?!?!? How bizarre. Oh and some other lady of the nite reckoned me n Aaron were an item – BOG OFF!!!
We go to another bar where 3 lads of giving the barmaid some banter. They turn out to be 3 ozzie dudes who are on holiday and they are good craic – Peter, Mark and Jason I think….end up hanging around with them for the rest of the nite.
We leave after a few drinks for some food…………….and what do we all eat?!?!?! Deep fried locusts, maggots and frogs – LMAO! Cant believe I ate that and I have pics to prove it – whoohooo!!! They don’t taste bad at all! Go me!!! End up at a maccie d’s where there is a crazy freak of a woman trying to speak to us – she is mental and sounds like she is on helium…..great chat!! It’s gone 3.30 and we’re all making a bit of a noise so decide to head home – we exchange email addresses with the ozzie guys as they’re uber jealous of all the mad pics I took of them!
We manage to get a taxi and head back to the apartment – HA HA top nite!

Hayley

Food for Thought

Full Update on Bangkok coming soon but here is some of the stuff we ate whilst we were there

Thur 22nd Jan - Off to Bangkok

Ugh….what time is it?! Had to get up at 5.20am and head for the Subway to get to the airport for Bangkok flight. Flight goes well – I’m just so so so tired - takes just over 2.5hrs which aint bad at all.

We land and get through immigration which isn’t too bad and we manage to get our rucksacks with no major dramas. So, we’ve been reading and told not to get into any dodgy cabs so we’re thinking of getting the train into town and then try and find our hostel. Luckily there’s a nice woman at tourist information and she says that its actually cheaper to get a Taxi and less hassle. Yays for her!!

We get outside and its HOT!! Seriously, just like walking into a sauna with all your clothes on – bring on the tan! I’m seriously lacking in that department and need my healthy orange glow back haha…..taxi ride is a good 45mins and you can see that no one here gives a damn about driving rules!!! Its mental and I don’t know how there aren’t accidents all over the place, especially as there’s crazy peeps on mopeds whooshing aboot without a care in the world – nor a helmet for that matter….however, we survive the ride and its only £6 for 30km!!!! Whooohooo – liking the cheapness!!!

We check into our hostel accomodation and there’s a bit of faffing as the geezer says he never received our email from hostelbookers….aye whatevs mate, the email is in dave’s hand. Anyhoo, the guy is sound and starts scooting aboot for a room for us. He finds one that the 3 of us can share – Aaron is at the front room with the bunks and we have the craziest bedroom ever…….you have to see this to believe it….OMG…..there are mirrors EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!! On the ceiling, on all 4 walls of the room and its painted a very dark red – very random and I can only imagine what has been going on in this room a while back!!! However, there is a double bed, we have space to move – unlike HK – there’s air con, a fridge and a huge bathroom – GREAT SUCCESS, WE LIKE!!!!!

We hit the supermarket downstairs and invest in some beers – gotta be done especially in this fecking heat. Singha pint bottles work out to be about 80p – hahahhaha!!! Muchos happiness all around. So we sit n chill outside our wee apartment and get chatting to an old ozzie dude who kinda shows us the map and where is good to go.

A few bottles later and everyone crashes out for a nap – we end up waking up at 9pm and are desperate for food!!! Aaron is ultra sleepy and is in a daze – however, we manage to find a seafood restaurant and I get calamari curry!! Its lush and costs about £2 - this is amazing!!!!! Dave has a Thai spicy soup and Aazza has prawns. We wolf that down and give the waiter some chat – he is so nice and likes to practice his English on us – however, the dude is a man utd fan….not so good haha!

Walk back through some crazy markets – only to be scared by street rats – ARGH! Oh and see a stall selling deep-fried insects….gonna be trying some of them this week for sure J head to bed after 12 and nitey nite Bangkok. Sightseeing tomoz!

Hayley

Our trip to China (or not as it turned out!)

As we arranged on Sunday, today was going to be our day trip to China and see Rodger’s new pub in She Kou. Now that we knew where the International Ferry Terminal was from yesterdays travels, we made our way there without problem for the 11:30 sailing. With our tickets purchased at a cost of £17 return we jumped on the boat and off we steamed. The boat docked and off we went to the Kiosk which said ‘China Visa’. The lady there told us to go around the corner to the immigration enquiries desk as we only wanted a 5 day visitor’s visa. We got to the kiosk and found they were on lunch for another 20 minutes so we waited and read the notice saying that the visa cost was 160Rmb’s (about £15) and was only payable in the local currency. So we asked where the ATM was and it turns out there wasn’t one!! However, there is a money changer so I whip out my ‘Emergency’ US dollars and go and see her.
Hayley then comes dashing up to let me know that the visa charge is 490Rmb’s for UK nationals – this is about £50. We decided this was too expensive for our day trip so we told Immigration that we didn’t want to come into China anymore. This confused them a little and they had a wee chat with each other. The Police supervisor came across and said that we could leave on the next boat but she would have to keep our Passports until the boat arrived in an hour and a half, the lady was true to here word and we were guided towards the boat 3 minutes before it left (having been docked for half an hour!!). We then took the opportunity to remind the Immigration man that we needed our passports and he asked his mate who didn’t have a clue! The little smartly dressed man ran back inside the terminal to get them and appeared again as just as all of the ferry company are getting antsy about the scheduled departure time. Once on the boat we could eventually relax as i) we were not in a Chinese Immigration detention centre and ii) we had our passports back and stood a good chance of getting into Hong Kong again.
Once we arrived, it took a short while to explain to Hong Kong Immigration why we had a Hong Kong exit stamp but no entry stamp to China but when we told them the price of the visa they raised their eyebrows and allowed us back in.
When eventually freed from international no-mans land, we went for lunch at a sushi bar which was amazing and then got the tourist funicular railway up Victoria peak and had a look around for a couple of hours – no passport was needed for this jaunt!! We came down and found a back street noodle shop which fed us for about £3 each - it was amazing how quickly you can master the art of eating noodles with chop sticks at that price!!

Dave

Casino Casino Casino

We get up at 9am and I’m feeling a bit ruff….too many ciders mixing in with lager….ugh. The fecking handbag tout dudes start hassling as soon as we’re outside so I just yell ‘NO’ at one of them….dont mess with hungover Hayley…..but hey, what solves that?! Maccie d’s – yay!!! £2 for a big breakfast kinda thing – sorts us all right out. We have a laff about Dave’s exploits with the Nigerian’s last nite and head to the ferry terminal to find out cost of going to Macau. Ends up being £29 return – which is a bit steep for an 1hr ferry ride, but hey, we wanna go and the pushy travel agents get our tickets and we run for the ferry at 11.30am.
It’s a pretty nice ferry and feels like you’re in a plane!! The Fanimal comes out to play again and gets his pic on the way to Macau. We get there after an hour and we have to go through immigration as apparently its over foreign waters or summat…..interesting eh!? There are a load of casino buses outside which are FREE!!! Whooohooo – we get on the MGM one and get dropped off at this ENORMOUS MGM hotel / casino – wowzers! This is just like Las Vegas – seriously!! Mental!! We manage to get $100 HK onto a gambling card, by showing our ferry ticket, and away we go to the slot machines – teehee!! I have no idea what I’m doing and am just pressing buttons for the sake of it! I end up coming away with about £6 – just from the 20c machines! Haha
We have a good ol wander through Macau and its so European – like a holiday town when you go abroad to Spain or….Portugal…..funny thing is, Macau was owned by Portugal – so there are signs up in Chinese AND Portuguese AND English – crazy!!! We see the old town, a nice garden and head through the touristy bit. Have an awesome lunch at a local Macau restaurant – Beef Satay – yum! And we head to Wynn’s casino – this place has a mini fountain version of the bellagio – wicked!! Aaron wins a £10 in there and we’re all thinking – time to go – before we break the bank and spend everything on gambling!
Ferry leaves at 7 and we all snooze on the way back. Pick up some instant noodles at the 7Eleven and away to bed…China tomoz – eeeeeeek!!!

Hayley

Sunday - A day about town

Have an uber long lie-in – soooooo worth it. Poor Aaron has been up since 9am – haha!! Since when did he surface at that time!? We meet Sutty and hit the Star Ferry over to Hong Kong Island as we have an errand to run – Dave’s dad left some charger thingy at the hotel last year so we need to go get it. We take a tram along to the other side of the island and go to the reception at the hotel. At first, they aint got a clue but with some perseverance we get there and the charger is returned. Yay!!
We have a wander through Victoria Park and see the craziest thing – old geezers having mini speedboat races around the pond – they are soooooooooooooooooo fast – it’s hilarious!!! The smell of gasoline and cooking oil is pretty overpowering but to watch this, is addictive! That kills some time and we head over to Wanchai district to meet Roger.
Luckily, Dave and Sutty have their navigation hats on and me n Aaron hang back letting them do the work – haha!! We find Delaneys – yup the other irish pub – and meet up with Roger. He aint changed one bit!!! But now he’s a daddy – bless!! We have a few magners there and then its time for Sutty to say bye!! He’s off to the airport – sad times!! He well wanted to stay with us and continue the holiday vibe 
We realise we aint had lunch… his mate from Edinburgh rocks up and we go to another one of these local street ‘restaurants’ – basically, the Chinese version of a greasy spoon café really!!! I order soy sauce chicken – which is a huge chicken bone chopped up – after eating a piece, we notice there’s blood on the meat – argh!! Help me!!! Aaron asked for assorted meats – he gets gristle and bone chopped up really – hilarious – these cooks are sooooo laughing at us!!! Dave and Roger’s look ok – Duck and belly pork – but its all pretty cold / luke warm – I start dreading that I’m gonna wake up with the shits……….wait n see.
Next up we go to The Kanny Man – where Roger needs to meet the manager – as he’s from the same chain and needs to talk shop for a bit. The geezer looks like a Tommy Sheridan wannabe and props up the bar with a fag and a pint and his Thai bit of fluff – what a great look….he’s pretty miserable – obviously a weegie – and doesn’t even offer us a freebie – ugh!!!! Have a couple in there and then onto Fenwicks – which is a nightclub really….
Well, that was an experience…..there a few westerners in there…..all male, all over 50 and all with their Thai brides – sick, sick, sick!!!!! These poor women who are putting themselves through humping that?! Ugh, no thanks…..I look to the dance floor and its covered with phillopino women – bout 30 of them!!! All boogying away! I look around and I’m actually the only western woman in there – hmmm…..methinks, I’m in a seedy kinda place….but it all seems ok and we don’t stay there too long. We say cheerio to Roger and head back to hostel.
Dave is drunk and starts talking to all the dodgy geezers in the lift, asking them where they’re from – obviously Nigeria – and then starts doing the Fonejacker impression ‘I’m calling from your bank. Let me have your bank details’ – DAVID!!! STOP!!!! Luckily, no harm done and away to bed!! Macau tomorrow

Hayley

Big Buddha

Aaron meets us at 9.30 and what does he have on his neck?!?! Oh yes, you guessed it – a fecking love bite! What a dirty boy!! Him and Sutty went onto a ‘special’ bar after karaoke and were surrounded by ladies of the night – and if you buy them a drink, they’re all over you! Aaron refrained from paying them for a whole night of loving but got a love bite instead for his chat! He even offered the girl his hat for a BJ – WTF!?!? She declined obviously!!!
After discussing the night’s scandal, we grab brekkie at a bakery – time for a cheese n ham roll of the sweetest variety – yep, interesting crossing of flavours there – and we head to the ferry to go to Lantau island and see the Big Buddha at Ngong Ping Village. It’s a toasty day and Sutty gets burnt! We have an awesome lunch at the place we visited last year and went up the steps to the Buddha. Some crazy lass was on her knees praying at the top and crying her eyes out, screaming to Buddha. Wonder what her beef was……mean I know, but she was LOUD!! In front of all those tourists too….its a long day and we head back to the ferry.
Everyone is freshened up and we head up town on Nathan Road to find Sutty’s hotel. We eat in one of these local joints where you can see the hanging glazed ducks, geese and chickens still avec heads, and order the set meal for 4. Well, didn’t we get looks from all the locals?! Haha – we showed them a thing or two by using chopsticks and not failing with them!!! Soup was interesting to say the least…..i’m sure it had bone marrow at the bottom of the bowl…it was a nice dishwater colour too – but strangely tasty!! Next up was an assortment of crab, prawns, pork and ribs. All yummy!!! Huge bottles of Carlsberg for £1.50 – great success 
After our mammoth feed, we head off to find a pub…..do you realise how hard that task was!?!??!?! Huh huh!?!?!? OMG……..there were like NO pubs to be seen at that end of Nathan Road and if we did find one – it was a TITTY bar – raaaaaaa. Bless this woman that stopped us outside a ‘karaoke bar’ – Aaron went in to check if it was suitable for me – he came out and said ‘why aye! Its karaoke’ at the same time, this local woman said ‘the women, they sing with you and then…..(she raises her eyebrows) not suitable for girls’ – haha, I’m saved!!! Onwards we continue to look for a pub, but now I’m absolutely bursting for a pee….not good chat…..Maccie D’s comes to my aide and I use their facilities – thank you golden arches! What we did find on our travels was a few amusing names of buildings – just look at the photo!!
Where do we end up?! The bloody pub opposite the hostel – haha! Delaney’s – another irish bar – but hey, the footie is on and Bolton are holding Man U scum to a draw – come on!!! Argh, but the last fecking minute Man U go and score – don’t they – fecking typical!!! HAYLEY RAGE!!! Off we trot to bed around 1ish – sooooooo many dodgy geezers around our block – ugh!! A tad too many Nigerians here on business – aye right!!!

Hayley

Friday - Welcome to Hong Kong

We land at 2pm HK time – with the flight lasting about 10hrs 50mins – the sun is shining and it’s a nice comfortable temp of 18 degrees sweeeeeeet!! Bye bye crappy UK weather, Hello Sunshine!!! We get the MTR into Hong Kong and then another one onto Tsim Sha Tsui (?) where we get to our accommodation – Parkgate Hostel in ChungKing Mansions. This place is heaving and all full of crazy annoying touts with this crap chat: “Tailored suit sir, DVD, good fake watch?” or “ I take you to nice guesthouse. Where you want to stay? Follow me!” Joy. We rock up to the 15th floor and meet our hostel owner. She seems lovely and friendly so all good. We open our door to the room and its pretty darn basic! But at least it’s clean. The bathroom is a hoot – we have to shower head so it’s kinda like a metal hose hanging down – wahaha! Two single beds – mattresses are a tad hard and that’s about it!
I’m feeling skanky from the flight so hit the shower. Half an hour later we hear Aaron’s hearty laugh – you canny miss it – and Sutty has arrived!!! Aaron’s flatmate is stopping over in HK for a few nights on his way back from Oz to the UK – super timing. We get ready and meet them in the Irish pub next door – too handy!!! Bless Sutty, who has been researching the joint – mainly of Irish pubs – good skills! Unfortunately, it’s like £6 a pint or more in these places so we have to rely on happy hour – damn the exchange rate!
We head to the harbour for 8pm to see the free light n laser show – along the way we have dinner….at good ol Maccie D’s…..its £2 for a meal! Canny believe it!!! Light show is well impressive – even though we saw it last year – and we head to another bar!!! We stumble into a random bar – we’re the only Westerners in there with what looks like the fecking Triads at the bar – hmmmm…..dodgy!!! But we’re rescued….it’s a karaoke bar – hahaha! Aaron and Sutty get up and sing ‘Fly me to the moon’ - what a hoot! The locals LOVED it!! Probably helped that Aaron was wearing his England top and cowboy hat – mentalist.
Boy and I are knackered so get to our beds for 10ish.

Hayley

We made it to London

Using the wonders of modern technology I have managed to avoid paying airport WiFi charges by connecting my mobile phone to my laptop...

Well after all of the packing and saying goodbye, we are on our way successfully bagging our first flight. We are now in one of the bars (surprise surprise) in Heathrow’s T3 and Aaron is away looking for an outside bit to have a sneaky wee fag before the 12 hour flight to Hong Kong at 6pm this evening. The flight should be interesting as Aaron has invested in a Niccorette ‘Inhalator’ – a small plastic device which give the users a small dose of nicotine on inhalation. It will be interesting to see how well this works and how angst Aaron will be when he gets off the plane at the other end!!

On changing from T5 where we land to T3 where our next flight takes off, we had to clear security again. Me and Aaron made it through with no issues but Hayley set the metal detector off and the lady who searched her had a right old rake around in her over shoulder boulder holder, looking for hidden contraband – luckily for Hayley none was found.

Aaron has also brought his ‘Fanimal’ – those of you old enough will remember these creatures from the Peparami adverts of days gone by. Here’s a photo of Fanimal at Newcastle airport.

Dave

We've crossed our 1st Border

Well, yesterday we crossed our first country border making it successfully from Scotland into England. The motor was a bit full up with gear but there you go!!

Our first flight is at 12:15 on Thursday taking us from Newcastle to Heathrow and then on the 18:05 to Hong Kong.

Packing Begins

Now that we've said Ta Ta to just about everyone in Edinburgh, we can start to make a go of packing everything we need for the next few months into one rucksack each!

Things are already off to a delayed start as we set the alarms for 08:30 this morning but didn't surface until about 15 minutes ago (09:30) however, it can't take that long to pack a rucksack can it?

Dave